Best Comedy Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings Page 25

“I got into comedy because I wanted to get into writing.”

“I think some people just don't know that much about comedy. It would be like a person who didn't know anything about football thinking all offensive linemen are the same.”

People Thinking Knows Persons Would Be Comedy Football Offensive Lineman Linemen Offensive Lineman

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“I think the reward for doing comedy is doing the comedy itself. You get to go to work everyday and laugh and make other people laugh and to me there's no greater reward than that.”

People Thinking Laughing Comedy Greater Rewards Everyday

Author:Ashton Kutcher

“I stopped doing romantic comedies. I just stopped. They're terrible. They're bad. They're not funny and so they shouldn't be a romantic comedy because most of the time they're not romantic. They shouldn't be called romantic comedy.”

Comedy Terrible

Author:Sandra Bullock

“I have spiritual beliefs that I could literally go out and make an entire comedy routine about, and tour as some sort of spiritual guru, but it kind of goes against that [as] I actually believe the things, so I'm always kind of caught in the middle.”

Believe Kind Spiritual Belief Comedy Middle Caught Routine Guru Spiritual Beliefs Caught In The Middle

Author:Jim Carrey

“Every comedian is just doing the comedy they find funny. This is me and it's not clean in any way. I could get a lot more work on TV playing clean but it's never interesting.”

Way Interesting Comedy Tvs Clean Comedian This Is Me

Author:Jim Jefferies

“I follow the baseball team on the Internet more than I do the football team. Generally you can get a Nebraska game anywhere. Before I started doing big arenas and stuff and had a tour bus when I was just working comedy clubs way back when I would always listen to the games in my hotel room on the Internet.”

Way Bigs Games Stuff Rooms Comedy Team Football Internet Baseball Clubs Hotel Bus Arena Back When Football Team Hotel Rooms Nebraska Comedy Clubs Baseball Team Way Back When

Author:Larry the Cable Guy

“I never felt like I was stealing anyone's fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.”

People Felt Comedy Fans Stealing Comedian Introducing

Author:Bo Burnham

“When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you is not dirty to the other person. Comedy is one of those things you throw against the wall and see what sticks.”

Persons Comedy Wall Sticks Dirty Subjective

Author:Larry the Cable Guy

“I have a basic theorem as to how I do my jokes. Growing up, I knew when to cross the line and when not to cross the line. It's the same with my comedy. I know what my audience will take and how much they won't take. I can't give you a formula for it. It's my own personal formula inside my head. Somebody else's might be different.”

Knows Giving I Can Different Might Lines My Own Audience Growing Up Comedy Growing Jokes Crosses Formulas Theorems

Author:Larry the Cable Guy

“I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.”

Thinking Littles Comedy Favors Feminine Masculinity Stand Up Comedy

Author:Bo Burnham

“I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.”

Knows Watches Comedy Materials Comedian

Author:Bo Burnham

“Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.”

Purpose Comedy Strange Function

Author:Bo Burnham

“If you call me a comedian I will be very grateful. I will thank you profoundly. No, I love doing comedy. It's fun once in a while to do a serious part but I really enjoy doing comedy because I love to laugh.”

Ifs Fun Enjoy Laughing Comedy Serious Grateful Comedian Call Me

Author:Betty White

“A comedy ends with a wedding, and a tragedy ends with a funeral: you always have to juxtapose sex and death.”

Ends Sex Comedy Tragedy Funeral Sex And Death

Author:Chuck Palahniuk

“Most of my comedy is accidental, I would say. If I don't know what the joke is, I'm going to play it better than if I do.”

Ifs Knows Play Comedy Jokes

Author:Aya Cash

“It's just, you can get very complacent if you do the same thing all the time and especially the comedian, it gives me you know different things to react to and respond to, and it stimulates me.”

Ifs Giving Different Comedy Give Me Different Things Complacent

Author:Ellen DeGeneres

“My childhood was lonely. Both my parents were away a lot, working, and the maid basically raised me. And I think that's where a lot of my comedy comes from. Not only was the maid very funny and witty, but when my mother came home I'd use humour to try and get her attention. If I made mommy laugh, then maybe everything would be all right. I think that's where it [my comedy] all started.”

Ifs Thinking Trying Made Use Home Would Be Mother Parent Attention Laughing Comedy Childhood Humour Lonely Raised Witty Maids Funny And Witty

Author:Robin Williams

“If I'm not on tour, I can run down to the comedy club and do a little stand-up. If you're an actor, you can't go - I guess there's forms of it.”

Ifs Littles I Can Running Form Actors Comedy Clubs Comedy Clubs

Author:Louis C. K.

“A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.”

Men Writing Book Funny Comedy Punishment Crafts Funny Book

Book:Ernest Hemingway Selected Letters 1917-1961

Source: Ernest Hemingway Selected Letters 1917-1961

“I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.”

Want Names Comedy Excellence Brands Comedic

Author:Chris Rock

“You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.”

Faces Comedy Directors Casts Fake Pretty Face

Author:Chris Rock

“For the most part, comedy is the only fair part of show business.”

Shows Comedy Fairs Show Business

Author:Chris Rock

“A comedian has to live in his head. All this comedy comes from a lonely place. When you're surrounded by an entourage, you're not living in your head.”

Comedy Lonely Comedian Entourage Lonely Places

Author:Chris Rock

“It's definitely easier for a woman to do a romantic comedy than a war movie. It's assumed a woman doesn't have a sense of what action is.”

War Action Comedy Easier War Movie

Author:Julie Delpy

“The tagline behind "House of Lies" is funny, dirty, business. The show is a comedy satire about how big business operates. Most Americans that work in corporate America should be able to relate to this show.”

Should Shows Bigs Able America Lying House Behinds Comedy Relate Corporate Dirty Satire Big Business Corporate America Taglines Dirty Business

Author:Larenz Tate

“To me, being brave is an element that is so important with stand-up comedy. It's not essential. There are many comics who were just funny, and that's fine, too. But that's never been what I was trying to do in comedy. I was always trying to do something that involved not pandering to the audience.”

Trying Important Audience Comedy Fine Involved Essentials Elements Brave Always Trying Stand Up Comedy

Author:Bill Maher

“Awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy.”

Feelings Comedy Awkwardness

Author:Mike Birbiglia

“Right now I'm sick of acting, so it's like, Maybe I'll do writing for a bit. Then, when I'm tired of writing, I'll go work on my music. When I'm sick of music, I'll be like, I'm going to start performing comedy now. So it's good. It's not like I want to be famous or anything.”

Want Writing Bits Acting Comedy Right Now Sick Tired Performing I'm Tired

Author:Charlyne Yi

“I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.”

People World Years Humor Funny Levels Rooms Comedy Mines Seven Footballer Scottish

Author:Frankie Boyle

“For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going.”

Humor Funny Audience Comedy Minutes Listening Conversation Jokes Twenties Following Cake Stand Up Comedy

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Comedy is grievances. It's a recitation of grievances - whether they're inconsequential, superficial - like "my wife shops too much", or "kids today", all those old-fashioned themes - or, if it's deeper, and somewhat more thoughtful, about social imbalance and inequities, and the folly of human behavior. It's usually a complaint.”

“Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken word, the writing that goes into it is an art form - it's certainly artistry.”

People Writing Art Form Comedy Fine Vulgar Fine Arts Artistry Spoken Word

Author:George Carlin

“Don't associate me with comedy. And please don't say actress. I would never call myself any of those things. I hate it when people call me that.”

People Hate Comedy Please I Hate Actresses Call Me Associates Things I Hate

Author:Amy Sedaris

“I just hate the whole idea of labeling anything as a comedy. If you tell me something's funny, I'll want to rebel against it. When I go to a bookstore and see books categorized as humor, I get furious. Don't tell me that a book is funny. Let me decide if it's funny. It's the same with sitcoms. You call something a sitcom and people expect it to be funny. And that ruins everything.”

People Ifs Want Book Ideas Whole Hate Comedy Let Me Ruins Rebel Sitcom Bookstores Furious Labeling

Author:Amy Sedaris

“Awkwardness is where tension is, and tension is where the story is. It's also where the comedy is, which I'm interested in; when it resolves it tends to resolve toward melancholy, a certain resignation, which I find interesting as well.”

Wells Stories Certain Interesting Comedy Tension Resolve Melancholy Resignation Awkwardness

Author:Lorrie Moore

“Stand-up comedy had an interesting effect on me in terms of how I started to think about constructing things, because I really loved the interstices, the linkages, or lack thereof.”

Thinking Term Interesting Comedy Effects Stand Up Comedy Linkages

Author:Mark Leyner

“I think horror comedies tend to skew more comedy than horror, for the most part.”

Thinking Comedy Horror

Author:Elijah Wood

“Like, I'm trying to make a statement that clean comedy is somehow better or loftier than dirty comedy, and I don't feel that way at all. I just think it's different. It's different. There's rock music, there's jazz music, there's reggae music: All of those forms are different.”

Thinking Way Feels Trying Different Form Comedy Rocks Clean Jazz Statements Dirty Jazz Music Rock Music Reggae Reggae Music

Author:Brian Regan

“People need to write articles and they need to have angles in them and I'm grateful when people are doing articles, but I always say there's not a great mystery to stand-up comedy.”

People Needs Writing Comedy Mystery Grateful Articles Angle Stand Up Comedy

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“I don't want to be a TV star for the sake of being on TV. I want to have a TV show that's based around my comedy.”

Want Shows Stars Comedy Tvs Sake Tv Shows

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn't make sense from a financial standpoint.”

Firsts Comedy Financial Make Sense Standpoint

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as a comedian to be recognized and successful.”

Thinking Want Stars Interest Successful Comedy Comedian Stand Up Comedy

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.”

People Needs Earth Funny Moving Comedy Figures Piano

Author:Woody Allen

“My neighbor's not even listening to me. He's all excited about some garden hose he bought at Brookstone. He's convinced it was designed by NASA. "Actually, it's got two nozzles, one for the hot and one for the..." Really? Is it long enough to go around both our necks and the chimney so we can tandem jump off of this? That's all I really care about you and your little garden hose.”

Littles Long Two Enough Care Funny Comedy Listening Garden Hot Excited Convinced Neighbor Necks Nasa Chimneys Tandem

Author:Bill Burr

“I was talking to my friend and he said his girlfriend was mad at him. I said, "What happened?" He goes: "Well, I guess I, uh... I guess I said something, and, uh... and then she got her feelings hurt." That's a weird way to phrase it: "She got her feelings hurt. I said something, and then she..." Could you more remove yourself from responsibility? "She got her feelings hurt." It's like saying, "Yeah, I shot this guy in the face, and then I guess he got himself murdered. I don't know what happened. He leaned into it."”

Knows Way Wells Said Feelings Funny Faces Guy Hurt Responsibility Talking Comedy Happened Shots My Friends Yeah Mad Phrases Girlfriend Remove This Guy Hurt Feelings Mad At Him

Author:Louis C. K.

“Black people have slavery. And white people have our own thing-stuff we went though that hurt us that we have to cope with. Like when they took our slaves away. That was really hard for us. So it's pretty even.”

People Hard Funny Stuff Black Hurt White Comedy Slavery Slave Black People

Author:Louis C. K.

“People are too afraid of uptown. A lot of people will tell you, like, "Don't go to Harlem. You can never go there. 'Cause as soon as you get there, they kill you." That's what people think. As soon as you arrive in Harlem, someone just stabs you in the face right away. That's people's image of Harlem: just everyone standing around waiting for lost white people to kill all day. "Did you see any? I didn't either."”

People Thinking Funny Faces Lost Causes Waiting White Comedy Standing Harlem Uptown

Author:Louis C. K.

“One time I was at a swimming pool with my kids, a public pool. I had my daughter, my six year old, on my arm like this. She was like clamped on, and she's kicking. ... And then she got off and another random child just clamped on. It's like a rat. "Get off of me." "But I love you." "I don't know you, kid."”

Knows Years Children Kids Funny Comedy Love You Arms Six Daughter My Daughter Swimming Pool One Time Rats Kicking Six Year Olds Swimming Pool

Author:Louis C. K.

“I love being married. It's great. But I hate arguing. I hate fighting. You know what I do now? When we get in an argument, I just take her side against me. It's just easier; it goes quicker. She's like, "What's wrong with you?" And I'm like, "I know! Damn it! Argh!"”

Knows Funny Hate Fighting Sides Love Is Comedy Easier Married Argument I Hate Arguing Damn Being Married

Author:Louis C. K.

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