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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.”

Stills Hard Funny Differences Humorous Determine Philanthropy Animosity

Book:THE MYSTERY OF EDWIN DROOD, MASTER HUMPHREY'S CLOCK, AND SKETCHES BY

Source: THE MYSTERY OF EDWIN DROOD, MASTER HUMPHREY'S CLOCK, AND SKETCHES BY

“The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.”

Humor Funny Political Politics Differences Poor Party Republican Humorous Democrat Greed Corruption

Author:Oscar Levant

“Entrepreneurs are simply those who understand that there is little difference between obstacle and opportunity and are able to turn both to their advantage.”

Littles Able Turns Opportunity Differences Decision Humorous Advantage Entrepreneur Obstacles Business Opportunity Life Opportunity

Author:Niccolo Machiavelli

“The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.”

“The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is that the Democrat is a cannibal, they live off each other, while the Republicans live off the Democrats.”

Political Politics Differences Republican Humorous Democrat Cannibal

Author:Will Rogers

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”

Source: Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”

“We don't have a monopoly. We have market share. There's a difference.”

Differences Business Share Humorous Monopoly

Author:Steve Ballmer

“People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more moist. Between your spittle, your diapers, your spit-up and drool, you got your baby food, your wipes, your formula, your leaky bottles, sweaty baby backs, and numerous other untraceable sources-all creating an ever-present moistness in my life, which heretofore was mainly dry.”

People Children Life Is Asks Differences Source Baby Creating Humorous Parenting Ask Me Dry Bottles Formulas Wipe Spit Diapers Moisture Babyhood Spit Up

Author:Paul Reiser

“It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.”

Long Differences Work Education Learning Study Humorous Educational

Author:Finley Peter Dunne

“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.”

Life Writing Reality Truth Differences Fiction Humorous Definitions Witty Make Sense Creative Writing Fiction Writing Nothing Makes Sense Fiction And Reality

Author:Tom Clancy

“The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.”

Sex Differences Humorous Witty Pornography Lighting Funny Sex

Author:Gloria Leonard

“The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.”

Inspirational Art Funny Differences Humorous Madness Mad Witty Painter Insanity Sanity Madmen Signatures Madness And Sanity Madness And Insanity

Author:Salvador Dali

“Bargaining is a repulsive habit; compromise is one of the highest human virtues - the difference between the two being that the first is practised on the Continent, the latter in Great Britain.”

Firsts Humans Two Funny Differences Virtue Habit Highest Humorous Compromise Britain Latter Continents Negotiation Great Britain Bargaining

Book:How to be a Brit: The Classic Bestselling Guide

Source: How to be a Brit: The Classic Bestselling Guide

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

“The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.”

Bigs Government Funny America Differences Tvs Humorous England

Author:Bob Hope