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Sex Quotes

“I used to be jealous; I'm not jealous anymore. And a miracle happened to me, because if you're jealous, it's a cancer, it's a plague on your spirit, it really is. And I actually cured jealousy in a very weird way - I cured it with mathematics. And I'm not a math person at all, but I've been with my wife for about seven years, so we have had sex probably, I'd like to think, like, 9 million times or, at least, 1,500. So, the way I figured it, if she goes out and screws some other guy once - I'm still winning.”

IfsThinkingWayYearsPersonsStillsHumorFunnyUsedSpiritGuyWinningSexMillionsWifeHappenedMiracleMathematicsSevenCancerMy WifeMathUsed To BeJealousScrewsSeven YearsPlagueOther GuysBeing JealousNot Jealous
Author:Marc Maron
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“If I found myself alone on planet Earth, no other humans, I would have sex with a monkey in like two minutes. Two minutes. That's really not long enough to be sure you're alone on the Earth, even. That's like... I walk outside, it's- there's not much traffic. "Oh, my God, it's just me! I'm gonna have sex with a monkey right now. Oh, no-there's a person."”

IfsHumansPersonsLongTwoEnoughEarthFunnyFoundSexWalksComedyMinutesPlanetsRight NowTrafficMonkeysPlanet Earth
Author:Louis C. K.
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“Look, nearly everything in the culture says we're freaks. Doing sex work, we're desired; we can get rewarded for being what we've always wanted to be. What's so bad about that? My own notion is I wish sex work would be decriminalized (not legalized, please note the distinction) so that more trannies could get into the field if they wanted to and not get into trouble for it.”

IfsLooksWould BeWantedCultureWishSexMy OwnTroubleFieldsPleaseNotesNotionDistinctionFreakSex Work
Author:Kate Bornstein
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“The book is almost always better than the movie. You could have no better case in point than FROM HELL, Alan Moore's best graphic novel to date, brilliantly illustrated by Eddie Campbell. It's hard to describe just how much better the book is. It's like, "If the movie was an episode of Battlestar Galactica with a guest appearance by the Smurfs and everyone spoke Dutch, the graphic novel is Citizen Kane with added sex scenes and music by your favourite ten bands and everyone in the world you ever hated dies at the end." That's how much better it is.”

IfsWorldBookEndsHardDiesSexCasesNovelHellCitizensSceneBandTenAppearanceAssHatedSpokesGuestsFavouriteEpisodesBad AssGraphicDutchGraphic NovelsCitizen KaneSmurfBattlestar Galactica
Author:Warren Ellis
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“You probably think Stephen Hawking is in that wheelchair because of a motor neuron disease. But if you got as much barely-legal student poontang as The Hawkster, you'd be in a wheelchair too.”

IfsThinkingSexStudentsDiseaseMotorNeuronsWheelchairs
Book:Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!: Cartoonist Explains Cloning, Blouse Monsters, Voting Machines, Romance, Monkey G ods, How to Avoid Being Mistaken for a Rodent, and More
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“I desire you would Remember the Ladies, and be more generous and favourable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the Husbands. Remember all Men would be tyrants if they could... That your Sex are Naturally Tyrannical is a Truth so thoroughly established as to admit of no dispute, but such of you as wish to be happy willingly give up the harsh title of Master for the more tender and endearing one of Friend.”

IfsMenGivingHandsWould BeRememberDesireWishSexMastersHusbandGiving UpTitlesGenerousTyrantsAncestorHarshUnlimitedDisputesEndearingUnlimited Power
Author:Abigail Adams
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“I think if you were to sever the connection between arousal and shame, you might actually come up with something liberating and socially useful. It might be healthier for us, and lead to a situation such as they enjoy in Holland, Denmark, or Spain, where they have pornography all over the place - quite hardcore pornography - but they do not have anywhere the incidence of sex crimes.”

IfsThinkingMightSexEnjoySituationCrimeConnectionsShameCome UpSpainPornographyLiberatingHardcoreHollandDenmarkArousalIncidence
Author:Alan Moore
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“My dad and mom were more like World War II-era parents, even though it was the 1960s, because they were both born in the '40s. They were young adults before the '60s even happened, and married, and already having kids. But by the time we were adolescents in the '70s, the whole culture was screaming at parents, "You're a good parent if you're open with your kids about sex." They attempted to be open with us about sex, and it made them want to die, and consequently, it made us want to die.”

IfsWorldWantMadeWarWholeKidsYoungDiesCultureSexParentBornHappenedMomDadMarriedAdultsMy DadYoung AdultErasWar Of The WorldsWorld War IiWorld War I1960sWanting To DieHaving KidsGood Parent
Author:Dan Savage
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“There's always something new with sex. We lived in a world without Viagra, now we live in a world with Viagra. We lived in a world without blowjobs and anilingus in the Oval Office, and then it happens and you get to write about it. We live in a world where now the government is screwing with contraception and holding back vaccines that could save 4,000 women's lives a year, and you get to write about that. It's not as much fun as anilingus in the Oval Office, but what are you going to do? If you pay attention, there's always something new, and it's always really invigorating.”

IfsWorldWritingYearsGovernmentHappensFunSexPayAttentionOfficePay AttentionSomething NewVaccinesContraceptionOvalHolding BackInvigoratingViagra
Author:Dan Savage
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“When you make love you're using up energy; and afterwards you feel happy and don't give a damn for anything. They can't bear you to feel like that. They want you to be bursting with energy all the time. All this marching up and down and cheering and waving flags is simply sex gone sour. If you're happy inside yourself, why should you get excited about Big Brother and the Three-Year Plans and the Two Minutes Hate and all the rest of their bloody rot?”

IfsWantGivingFeelsShouldYearsTwoBigsHateThreeEnergySexGonePlansMinutesLove YouBrotherBearsDown AndExcitedDamnCheerThree YearsFlagsBloodyMaking LoveUp And DownSourBurstingDon't Give A Damn
Book:Animal Farm and 1984
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“The whole point of marriage is to stop you getting anywhere near real life. You think it's a great struggle with the mystery of being. It's more like being smothered in warm cocoa. There's sex, but it's not what you think. Marvellous, for the first fortnight. Then every Wednesday. If there isn't a good late-night concert on the Third. Meanwhile you become a biological functionary. An agent of the great female womb, spawning away, dumping its goods in your lap for succour. Daddy, daddy, we're here, and we're expensive.”

IfsThinkingFirstsRealWholeNightSexStruggleMysteryLateFemaleThirdsWarmReal LifeAgentsExpensiveGoodsConcertsDaddyWombLapWednesdayMarvellousLate NightCocoaFortnightGreat Female
Author:Malcolm Bradbury
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“Success in Silicon Valley, most would agree, is more merit-driven than almost any other place in the world. It doesn't matter how old you are, what sex you are, what politics you support or what color you are. If your idea rocks and you can execute, you can change the world and/or get really, stinking rich.”

IfsWorldIdeasMatterSexSupportRichRocksColorAgreeDrivenMeritChanging The WorldValleysGet RealPlaces In The WorldSiliconOld YouSilicon Valley
Author:Michael Arrington
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“It's full of phonies, and all you do is study so that you can learn enough to be smart enough to be able to buy a goddam Cadillac some day, and you have to keep making believe you give a damn if the football team loses, and all you do is talk about girls and liquor and sex all day, and everybody sticks together in these dirty little goddam cliques.”

IfsGivingBelieveLittlesEnoughAbleTogetherGirlSexLosesStudyTeamFootballSmartSticksDirtyDamnLiquorBeing SmartPhonyFootball TeamCliqueCadillacsHoldenHolden Caulfield
Book:THE CATCHER IN THE RYE
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“It is only when someone cannot defend his opinion, and is not interested in believing the truth, that he will attempt to stifle discussion with good manners. Those who take religion, politics and sex seriously do not adhere to the general prohibition on discussing these topics. And they do not take offence when they are shown to be wrong. If you start to feel during a discussion, that you are not so much incorrect as insensitive, then you are probably dealing with a respectable bigot.”

IfsFeelsBelieveSexOpinionMannersDiscussionGood ManNot InterestedTopicsRespectableProhibitionDiscussingOffenceGood MannersBigotsInsensitiveReligion Politics
Author:Jamie Whyte
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