Best humorous & way Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings Page 2

“The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.”

“When others kid me about being bald, I simply tell them that the way I figure it, the good Lord only gave men so many hormones, and if others want to waste theirs on growing hair, that's up to them.”

Ifs Men Way Want Humor Kids Funny Sex Lord Growing Figures Hair Waste Humorous Hormones Baldness

Author:John Glenn

“The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.”

Way Needs Bigs Leader Feet Humorous Army Toes

Author:Bill Murray

“The only way to lose weight is to check it as airline baggage.”

Way Loses Humorous Weight Checks Airline Baggage Lose Weight

Author:Peggy Ryan

“I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible.”

Way Littles Play Funny Sex Basketball Humorous Sexuality One On One

Author:Leslie Nielsen

“Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.”

“Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar.”

Way Wells Funny America Comedy Humorous Oscars Wheat

Author:Billy Crystal

“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”

People Way Looks Funny Found Humorous Witty Fats One Way Hanging Out Funny Food Fat People

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“Look at Gleason in The Honeymooners. He was humorous but the way he lived wasn't really humorous. He was a bus driver. Who wants to be a bus driver? He didn't have any money and he was not famous. But despite that, the show is humorous.”

Way Want Looks Shows Humorous Despite Drivers Bus Bus Driver Honeymooners

Author:George Thorogood

“When you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure clarified your attitude toward him. You have given a definite answer to a definite problem. For better or worse you have acted decisively. In a way, the next move is up to him.”

Men Way Problem Moving Next Given Answers Attitude Humorous Shots Definite Next Move

Author:R. A. Lafferty

“There is no Democratic or Republican way of cleaning the streets.”

Way Humor Funny Party Streets Republican Humorous Democratic Democrat Cleaning

Author:Fiorello H. La Guardia

“Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.”

Way Inspirational Funny Laughter Humorous Witty Best Way Kitchen Odor Funny Kitchen

Author:Phyllis Diller

“Let me remind you that this is God's universe, and He is doing things His way. You may think you have a better way, but you don't have a universe to rule.”

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

Way Inspirational Motivational Funny Happiness Success Science Found Peace Work Wealth Inspiring Money Business Attitude Learning Successful Failing Positive Failure Succeed Humorous Adversity Entrepreneur Positivity Witty Entrepreneurship Positive Attitude Successful People Inventor Fear Of Failure Success And Failure Entrepreneurial Success Failure Motivational Business Think Positive Motivational Success Succes Successful Entrepreneurs Best Success Overcoming Failure Achieving Success Business World Great Business Business Owners Failure In Life Failure Inspirational Achieved Success Inspirational Success Failure Starting A Business Greatest Success Best Business Learning From Failure Real Success Will To Succeed Failure Motivational No Failure Opportunities To Learn Small Business Owners Entrepreneur Motivational Fear Of Success Inspiring Business Achievement And Success Past Failures Fear Of Failing Way To Success Business Person Opportunity For Success Towards Success Succeeding In Business Challenges In Business Fail To Succeed Celebrate Success Starting New Business

Author:Thomas A. Edison

“Manage by objectives. Tell people exactly what you want them to do and then get out of their way.”

People Way Want Humorous Management What You Want Objectives Manage

Book:Effective Leadership

Source: Effective Leadership

“I'm not going out and hitting a 95-mph fastball where I can't see the stitches. I'm not on a professional football team looking to tackle a fullback who is built like solid wood. I'm a thinking person, and I've been blessed with the ability to see some things and talk about them in a way that registers in a humorous and funny way.”

Thinking Way Persons I Can Ability Team Football Humorous Built Blessed Woods Hitting Going Out Thanksgiving Register Football Team Ability To See Stitches Fastballs Mph Thinking Person

Author:Bill Cosby

“Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security.”

Way Humor Funny Security Food Humorous Insane Granted Sanity Airports Airline Air Travel Airport Security

Book:Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual Journalism

Source: Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual Journalism

“This (America) is a land of rich diversity, from the towering skyscrapers of Manhatan all the way to the towering mounds of garbage piled up next to the towering skyscrapers of Manhattan.”

Way Funny America Next Rich Land Diversity Humorous Garbage Manhattan Skyscraper

Author:Dave Barry

“America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. Start thinking and pretty soon you get ideas, and then you get idealism, and the next thing you know you've got ideology, with millions dead in concentration camps and gulags.”

Thinking Knows Way Ideas Funny America Next Nations Millions Humorous Ideology Concentration Camps Thank God Idealism Concentration Camp Sneaky Gulags

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“The Arab peoples possess an ancient and highly developed civilization that is in many ways more sophisticated than our own. For instance, they invented algebra. And this is why we have to go to war with Saddam Hussein this minute and bomb the shish kebab out of him before he invents trig and chemistry and the whole of America flunks high school.”

Way War Whole School Funny America Minutes Civilization Humorous High School Ancient Instance Bombs Chemistry Sophisticated Saddam Hussein Algebra Kebabs

Book:Thrown Under the Omnibus

Source: Thrown Under the Omnibus

“There are also a number of humans living up there (Canada), and in many ways they have a lifestyle quite similar to ours, including such traditional American activities as driving Japanese cars.”

Way Humans Humor Funny Numbers Car Activity Humorous Including Driving Lifestyle Traditional Canada

Book:Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Source: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes