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Famous Dennis Miller Quotes
“I haven't seen anyone rely on the ground game this much since the battle of Verdun.”
“I've seen better coverage at an Alan Keyes press conference.”
“That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.”
“The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.”
“I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.”
“That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.”
“Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.”
“Concussion? How the hell can they tell? They're *football* players, for chrissakes!”
“He lasted about as long as the dessert tray at Rosie O'Donnell's house.”
“Is it just me, or are the 49ers doing an awful lot of ass-patting today?”
“Their offense is shakier than Katherine Hepburn after an all-night espresso bender at Starbucks.”
“That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.”
“Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.”
“Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!”
“Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.”
“If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.”
“The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.”