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W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields Quotes

Comedian

W.C. Fields, born William Claude Dukenfield, was a renowned American comedian and film star. Known for his distinctive humor and exaggerated performance style, he became famous during the silent and early sound film era of the 1920s and 1930s. Fields was recognized for his comical appearance and unique voice, and his characters often had a cunning and witty quality.

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Famous W. C. Fields Quotes

“I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.”

“I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.”

Drink Humorous Beer Invites Impunity Beer Drinking Drinking Beer Brewing

Author:W. C. Fields

“I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.”

Funny Humorous Witty Cute Last Words Loopholes

Author:W. C. Fields

“My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?”

Heart Today Funny My Heart Humorous Negotiation Bargains Bargaining

Book:I Never Met a Kid I Liked

Source: I Never Met a Kid I Liked

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”

“Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.”

Funny Sleep Humorous Cures Insomnia Oxymoron Funny Sleep Insomniac Funny Insomnia Funny Oxymoron

Author:W. C. Fields

“I like children - fried.”

Children Funny Humorous Witty

Author:W. C. Fields

“If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.”

Ifs Giving Funny Names Given Wife Return Husband Humorous Print Joints Husband And Wife Given Names

Book:Fields for President

Source: Fields for President

“I have a poor memory for names; but I seldom remember a face.”

Funny Remember Faces Names Memories Poor Humorous Poor Memory

Author:W. C. Fields

“Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)”

Use Funny Names Middle Humorous Documents Moderation Signing

Book:Fields for President

Source: Fields for President

“What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?”

Ifs Firsts May Funny Beautiful President Water Humorous Russia Noise Curious Cake Soviet Insulting Plunge Ambassadors Cuisine

Book:Fields for President

Source: Fields for President

About the Author

Born: January 29, 1880
Died: December 25, 1946
Known for: Comedian
Quotes: 225

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Books & Sources

W.C. Fields by Himself: His Intended Autobiography with Hitherto Unpublished Letters, Notes, Scripts, and ArticlesRelated source material

Fields for PresidentRelated source material

I Never Met a Kid I LikedRelated source material

Drat! Being the encapsulated view of lifeRelated source material

W. C. Fields by himself: his intended autobiographyRelated source material

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