Best humour & wife Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.”

“A man must have something to grumble about; and if he cant complain that his wife harries him to death with her perversity and ill-humour, he must complain that she wears him out with her kindness and gentleness.”

Ifs Men Kindness Wife Humour Ill Complaining Gentleness Cant Perversity

Book:The Tenant of Wildfell Hall

Source: The Tenant of Wildfell Hall

“It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or literally like my wife's cat.”

Might Wife Humour Jokes Cat My Wife Upside Down Things Upside Down

Author:Emo Philips

“A husband and wife should resolve never to wrangle with each other; never to bandy words or indulge in the least ill-humour. Never! I say; NEVER. Wrangling, even in jest, and putting on an air of ill-humour merely to tease, becomes earnest by practice.”

Should Practice Wife Air Humour Husband Ill Resolve Earnest Indulge Husband And Wife Tease Indulge In Jest Wrangling

Author:Timothy Shay Arthur

“the growth of intimacy is like that. First one gives off his best picture, the bright and finished product mended with bluff and falsehood and humour. Then more details are required and one paints a second portrait, and a third – before long the best lines cancel out – and the secret is exposed at last; the planes of the pictures have intermingled and given us away, and though we paint and paint we can no longer sell a picture. We must be satisfied with hoping that such fatuous accounts of ourselves as we make to our wives and children and business associates are accepted as true”

Source: Three Novels: Tender is the Night; The Beautiful and Damned; Thi

“My wife is way funnier than I am. As much as I don't really feel I share a sense of humour with my family, I definitely share one with her - we find the same things funny.”

Way Feels Wife Share Humour My Family My Wife

Author:Steve Carell

“I honestly thought my marriage would work because me and the wife did share a sense of humour. We had to really, because she didn't have one.”

Wife Share Humour Honestly Funny Relationship

Author:Frank Skinner

“The weekend break had begun with the usual resentment and had continued with half-repressed ill humour. It was, of course, his fault. He had been more ready to hurt his wife's feelings and deprive his daughter than inconvenience a pub bar full of strangers. He wished there could be one memory of his dead child which wasn't tainted with guilt and regret.”

Children Feelings Courses Fear Hurt Memories Half Break Wife Humour Ready Regret Daughter Guilt Faults Ill Stranger Bars Usual Weekend Resentment Inconvenience Pubs Repressed Tainted

Book:The Children of Men

Source: The Children of Men

“Many of us are trying to lead multiple lives: child, mother, wife, lover, star, giving small doses of oxygen to each and imploding under the weight of so many competing roles. The women I have written in Bombshells struggle - sometimes hilariously, sometimes tragically - to bridge the chasm between the wilderness of their inner worlds and the demands of their outer worlds. And humour, in the end, is our saviour.”

“Back then, if you had a sore arm, the only people concerned were you and your wife. Now it's you, your wife, your agent, your investment counselor, your stockbroker, and your publisher.”

People Ifs Funny Business Wife Humour Arms Concerned Investment Finance Agents Publishers Counselor Stockbrokers

Author:Jim Bouton

“To ask a man whether or not he has a girlfriend is to talk about his sex life. If you disagree with that, then how in the name of God do you differentiate between a man’s girlfriend and a girl that is a friend to the man?”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“With the long list of supposedly health-endangering meals on our menus, ‘starving’ seems like a healthy option to have on our list of safe-to-eat meals.”

Family Wife Food Humour Meals Mothers Sisters Chefs

Author:Uche Mac-Auley

“Some people’s self-esteem was secretly improved when they discovered that their then-lovers had killed themselves over them.”

“Nothing humbles a beautiful woman better than not being wanted by a man whose girlfriend or wife is ugly (or not as beautiful as she is).”

“Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they almost always have to remind you to miss them).”

“Most women sell sex; most of them just don’t take cash (nor do they each sell to more than one ‘client’ at a time).”

“There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.”

“Because he has finally realized that it is it and not him that is loved by the woman he loves, many a man is jealous of his own car, house, wardrobe, or salary.”

“It's time to shop high heels if your fiance kisses you on the forehead.”

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Book:Wealth of Words

Source: Wealth of Words

“A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each partner convinces or has convinced themselves that they do not deserve their partner, even if that is not true.”

“Some of us were brought into this troubled world primarily or only to increase our fathers’ chances of not being left by our mothers, or vice versa.”

Source: The Use and Misuse of Children

“Some people will hate you for not loving them.”

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Humour Quotes