“If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.”
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Famous George Carlin Quotes
“As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.”
“In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!”
Source: The Best of Brain Droppings
“The main reason women are crazy, is that men are stupid.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
Source: Brain Droppings
“And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?”
“At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure”
“The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.”
“It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.”
Source: Brain Droppings
Source: The Best of Brain Droppings
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“Movies and television don't make you violent; all they do is channel the violence more creatively.”
Source: Brain Droppings
Source: Brain Droppings
Source: Brain Droppings
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?”
“If God created everything, he's got a serious quality control problem.”
“The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.”
Source: Brain Droppings
Source: Brain Droppings
Source: Brain Droppings
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Brain Droppings
“The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.”
“Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?