“Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
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Famous George Carlin Quotes
“Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.”
Source: Last Words
“Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.”
“In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“My tombstone? I'm thinking something along the lines of, 'Geez, he was just here a minute ago.'”
“If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.”
“If black boxes survive air crashes - why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?”
“Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“With humans it's abortion, but with chickens it's an omelet.”
“There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!”
Source: When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“I hope we're not just human garbage drifting toward a big sewer. But I think so.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“An art thief is a man who takes pictures.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“We're not supposed to mention f***ing in mixed company, but that's exactly where it takes place.”
“Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people actually cook that stuff?”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“Christian Deodorant: "Thou Shalt Not Smell"”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“Israeli murderers are called "commandos," Arab commandos are called "terrorists."”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“To me, fast food is when a cheetah eats an antelope.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?