“I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.”
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Famous George Carlin Quotes
“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
Source: Brain Droppings
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?”
“In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.”
Source: Brain Droppings
Source: The Best of Brain Droppings
“You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.”
“There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.”
“If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Brain Droppings
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Brain Droppings
“If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.”
“Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?”
“If you can't say something nice about a person, go ahead”
Source: When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
Source: When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.”
Source: Brain Droppings
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty