“If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.”
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Famous George Carlin Quotes
Source: Brain Droppings
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?”
Source: Brain Droppings
“Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?”
“The god excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.”
“Censorship that comes from the outside assumes about people an inability to make reasoned choices.”
“We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.”
“There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.”
“The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it”
Source: The Best of Brain Droppings
“My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me.”
“We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.”
“If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance.”
“In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.”
“Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.”
“Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.”
“That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.”
“Even in a fake democracy, people ought to get what they want once in a while.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“If a painting can be forged well enough to fool experts, why is the original so valuable?”
Source: The Best of Brain Droppings
“If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.”
“Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh..apologiz e..let go of what you can't change.”
“When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Brain Droppings
“I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.”
“Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.”
“Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: Brain Droppings
“Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.”