Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
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Famous George Carlin Quotes
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
“Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?”
“The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.”
Source: Brain Droppings
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
“George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.”
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.”
Source: The Best of Brain Droppings
“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.”
Source: Last Words
“You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?”
Source: Brain Droppings
“No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“I don't like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.”
“Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.”
“Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.”
“God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty