“That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
Filter quotes by topic
Famous George Carlin Quotes
“Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.”
“Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.”
“Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.”
“Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?”
“We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.”
“Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.”
“Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?”
“The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.”
“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
“Electricity is really just organized lightning.”
“Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.”
“In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.”
“If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.”
