“What year did Jesus think it was?”
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Famous George Carlin Quotes
“The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.”
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
“You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.”
“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”
“Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.”
“There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.”
“In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.”
“You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.”
“If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.”
“When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.”
“You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.”
“If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?”
“Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.”
“The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.”
“E-I-E-I-O is actually a gross misspelling of the word farm.”
“Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking”
