“That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
Source: Brain Droppings
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Famous George Carlin Quotes
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
“Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.”
“Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.”
“Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.”
“Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.”
“Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.”
“Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?”
Source: Brain Droppings
“A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.”
“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.”
Source: The Best of Brain Droppings
“Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?”
“In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.”
Source: Brain Droppings