Source: Brain Droppings
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Famous George Carlin Quotes
“I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
Source: Brain Droppings
“A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
“Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.”
“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.”
“The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.”
Source: The Best of Brain Droppings
“Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?”
“Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking”
“Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.”