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George Carlin

George Carlin Quotes

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Famous George Carlin Quotes

“Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'”

FeelsFirstsGrowingHairMonthsIntelligentBlueFeel GoodSavingHamMake You Feel GoodLeftoversThriftyBlue Hair
Book:3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
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“My history of moving away from drugs is not the kind you hear from most people. Certainly not from celebrities, especially those professionally recovering people. What I've noticed in my overuse of cocaine is the period of pleasure versus the period of pain. That is to say that when you first get high on anything, the pleasure is predominant and you don't pay much price. A little hangover or whatever it might be with another drug. But after a while the ratio begins to change, and there' s far more pain in the deal than pleasure. It just completely goes in another direction.”

PeopleFirstsKindLittlesMightPainMovingPleasureDealsPayPeriodsDrugVersusCocaineRatiosGetting HighHangoverRecoveringMoving Away
Author:George Carlin
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“When you start in the childhood period, when you begin to form a comic sense, it was the radio comedians - from the last days of radio and the first days of television. And Spike Jones. And the Marx Brothers. They represented anarchy. They took things that were nice and decent and proper, and they tore them to shreds. That attracted me.”

FirstsLastsFormNiceChildhoodTelevisionBrotherPeriodsRadioComicComedianDecentAnarchyLast DayMarx Brothers
Author:George Carlin
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“Sometimes, after I'd gone at the coke like one of those snow plows moving up First Avenue, I'd think my heart was over on the dresser, pounding, and I was watching it. I asked some of the doctors who drifted through the intensive-care unit what kind of effect total cocaine abuse has on the heart and they said things like, "Well, there's not enough valid information...." That kind of answer.”

ThinkingFirstsWellsHeartKindSaidSometimesEnoughCareMovingAnswersGoneEffectsInformationMy HeartDoctorsAbuseSnowUnitsThey SaidAvenuesDoctor WhoCocaineCokeDressersMoving UpIntensive Care Unit
Author:George Carlin
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“I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, and a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to "God" are all answered at about the same 50% rate.”

FirstsI CanReasonEnoughLightFunnyReligionAsksFoundPrayerNumbersSunMysteryOffersDressesRateBoringLovelyHeatPageantryLovely Day
Book:The Best of Brain Droppings
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