Source: When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
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Famous George Carlin Quotes
“Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?”
“Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.”
Source: Brain Droppings
“Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?”
“If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?”
“I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“What year did Jesus think it was?”
Source: Brain Droppings
“That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
Source: Brain Droppings
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
“Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.”
“Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.”
“People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.”
Source: When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.”
“Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?”
Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.”
“Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?”
“Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.”
“If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?”
“Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?”
Source: The Best of Brain Droppings
Source: Brain Droppings