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Famous George Carlin Quotes
“The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.”
“You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.”
“The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.”
“Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.”
“Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?”
“I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.”
“I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious.”
“If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse.”
“When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons.”
“If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?”
“Politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don't.”
“People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?”