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Famous Joan Rivers Quotes
“I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.”
“I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.”
“I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.”
“Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.”
“With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.”
“You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.”
“My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.”
“My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.”
“I hate thin people; 'Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?'”
“I now consider it a good day when I don't step on my boobs.”
“Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?”
“I have no sex appeal. If my husband didn't toss and turn, we'd never have had any kids.”