“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
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Famous Joan Rivers Quotes
“If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.”
“I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'”
“My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.”
“It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.”
“Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.”
“I now consider it a good day when I don't step on my boobs.”
“I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.”
“That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.”
“I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.”