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Famous Joan Rivers Quotes
Source: I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me
“If you're not a wreck in this business, you're not around.”
“If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.”
“I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.”
“If I found Yoko Ono floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog.”
“If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.”
“Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!”
“I have no sex appeal. If my husband didn't toss and turn, we'd never have had any kids.”
“If you can't make fun of yourself, you don't have any right to make fun of others”