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Famous Rita Rudner Quotes
“It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.”
“They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.”
“I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.”
“A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.”
“My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.”
“I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.”
“I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.”
“Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.”
“A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.”