Best humorous & death Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“The graveyards are full of indispensable men.”

Men Death Leadership Powerful Military Humility Humorous Army Witty Indispensable Graveyard

“In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It’s called Karoshi. I don’t want that to happen to anybody in my department. The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon.”

Want Light Happens Funny Death Work Break Humorous Tricks Department Employee Japan Bright Lights

Book:The Dilbert principle: a cubicle's-eye view of bosses, meetings, management fads & other workplace afflictions

Source: The Dilbert principle: a cubicle's-eye view of bosses, meetings, management fads & other workplace afflictions

“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.”

Ifs Humor Funny Death Dies Heaven Humorous Clever Buttons Elevators

Book:You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson

Source: You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson

“I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact.”

Inspirational Dream Funny Death Dies Wish Space Technology Planets Humorous Impact Mars Inventor Inspirational Death Colonizing Mars

Author:Elon Musk

“One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.”

Should Death Dies Dying Humorous Profound Life And Death Death And Dying Life Death Euthanasia Dying Death Someone Dying Dying Love Meaningful Death Happy Death Someone Who Is Dying

Author:Friedrich Nietzsche

“It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”

Source: Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark

“There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.”

Men Reason Death Business Humorous No Reason Imperfection Cemetery Kfc

Author:Colonel Sanders

“Nirvana is not the blowing out of the candle. It is the extinguishing of the flame because day is come.”

Death Humorous Profound Insane Flames Candle

Author:Rabindranath Tagore

“The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.”

Source: A Wodehouse Bestiary

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”

Humor Funny Death Dies Fall Comedy Cutting Laughter Humorous Tragedy Suicide Profound Fingers Insane Comedian Funny Life Sewers Tragedy And Comedy Funny Comedian Personal Tragedy

Author:Mel Brooks

“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”

People Ifs Made Age Funny Past Death Dies Humorous Hundred Witty Birthday Getting Old Getting Older

Author:George Burns

“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”

Want Humor Funny Death Dies Sleep Car Humorous Died Scream Grandfather Grandparent Hilarious My Grandfather Passengers Funny Life Wanting To Die Grandpa Black Humor I Want To Die

Author:Will Rogers

“If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.”

Ifs Death Atheism Dying Humorous Witty Excuse God Exists

Author:Woody Allen

“I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.”

Death Realizing Listening Humorous Suicide Stupid People Delivering Relieved Eulogy

Book:Napalm & Silly Putty

Source: Napalm & Silly Putty

“There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.”

Life Funny Death Humorous Clever Cures Comedian Reincarnation Rebirth Funny Jokes

Author:Jack E. Leonard

“Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.”

Life Political Life Is Death Politics Inspiring Results Existence Duty Humorous Shots Intelligent Prime Minister Exhilarating Call Of Duty Modern Warfare Modern War Modern Warfare 2

Author:Winston Churchill

“I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

“Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?”

Life Humor Funny Death Humorous Witty Statistics Funny Life Numbered Days

Book:The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose

Source: The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose

“Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.”

Ifs Happens Death Fine Eternal Humorous Eternity Witty Nothingness

Author:Woody Allen

“My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?”

Men Funny Death Humorous Angry Witty Uncles Printed Tombstone Angry Man

Author:Margaret Smith

“He would make a lovely corpse.”

Funny Death Powerful Humorous Witty Lovely Corpses

Author:Charles Dickens

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