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P. J. O'Rourke

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

Satirist

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Famous P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

“Everything on a boat has a different name than it would have if it weren't on a boat. Either this is ancient seafaring tradition or it's how people who mess around with boats try to impress the rest of us who actually finished college.”

PeopleIfsTryingDifferentNamesCollegeTraditionAncientFinishedBoatMessImpressDifferent Names
Book:Holidays in Hell: In Which Our Intrepid Reporter Travels to the World's Worst Places and Asks,
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“The Republican convention, an event with the intellectual content of a Guns'n'Roses lyric attended by every ofay insurance brokerin America who owns a pair of white shoes.”

AmericaWhitePartyEventsRepublicanIntellectualGunRoseShoesPairsConventionsRepublican PartyGuns N RosesWhite Shoes
Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government
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“The problem isn't a Congress that won't cut spending or a president who won't raise taxes. The problem is an American public with a bottomless sense of entitlement to federal money.”

ProblemPresidentCuttingTaxesRaisesCongressSpendingEntitlementNational DebtSense Of Entitlement
Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government
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“A careful reading of 50 Simple Things leaves you wondering whether you're going to die from environmental disaster or intellectual annoyance. Failing either, you can worry yourself to death.”

DiesReadingSimpleWonderWorryFailingIntellectualEnvironmentalCarefulDisasterSimple ThingsAnnoyance
Book:All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty
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“Human problems are complex. If something isn't complex it doesn't qualify as problematic. Very simple bad things are not worth troubling ourselves about.”

IfsHumansProblemSimpleComplexesBad ThingsHuman Problems
Book:All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty
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“Mankind is supposed to have evolved in the treetops. But I have examined my sense of balance, the prehensility of my various appendages, and my attitude toward standing on anything higher than, say, political principles, and I have concluded that, personally, I evolved in the backseat of a car.”

PoliticalAttitudePrinciplesMankindCarBalanceHigherStandingVariousMy AttitudeBackseatTreetops
Book:All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty
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“There is a fine line in the Third World between half a dozen customs officials waiting for you to offer them a bribe and half a dozen customs officials waiting for you to offer them a bribe so they can throw you in jail.”

WorldWaitingLinesHalfFineOffersThirdsOfficialsCustomsJailDozenThird WorldBribeWaiting For YouFine Lines
Book:All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty
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“Government usually doesn't work. It doesn't work because it is political. People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs. The difference between the political process and an honest life is the difference between parading around waving picket signs while hollering catcalls in front of the White House and getting up in the morning to go make a living.”

PeopleNeedsGovernmentJobsPoliticalLife IsHouseProcessDifferencesWhiteMorningWiseHonestFrontsSmartWorking ItWhite HouseSkillfulHardworkingGood Smart
Book:All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty
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