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P. J. O'Rourke

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

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Famous P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

“Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. Horse races, for instance, are very dangerous. But attempt to design a safe horse and the result is a cow ... It is impossible to be alive and safe.”

Life IsFunResultsRaceAliveImpossibleDangerousDangerDesignSafeHorseInstanceCows
Book:Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . .
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“The Arab peoples possess an ancient and highly developed civilization that is in many ways more sophisticated than our own. For instance, they invented algebra. And this is why we have to go to war with Saddam Hussein this minute and bomb the shish kebab out of him before he invents trig and chemistry and the whole of America flunks high school.”

WayWarWholeSchoolFunnyAmericaMinutesCivilizationHumorousHigh SchoolAncientInstanceBombsChemistrySophisticatedSaddamHusseinAlgebraKebabs
Book:Thrown Under the Omnibus
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“I can think of a number of areas in New York where three acres of nuclear waste would make the neighborhood safer to walk around in than it is now, and better lit.”

ThinkingI CanFunnyThreeWalksNumbersNew YorkWasteHumorousAreasNuclearNeighborhoodLitAcresNuclear Waste
Book:All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty
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“I suspect the soviets never did want to use those bombs. The most Stalinist of Soviet hard-liners - Stalin, for example - must have realized a nuclear war would be a hard thing to clean up after.”

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Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government
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“Moscow has changed. I was here in 1982, during the Brezhnev twilight, and things are better now. For instance, they've got litter. In 1982 there was nothing to litter with.”

FunnyChangedHumorousRussiaInstanceTwilightMoscowBetter NowBrezhnev
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
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“The forces of safety are afoot in the land. I, for one, believe it is a conspiracy - a conspiracy of Safety Nazis shouting "Sieg Health" and seeking to trammel freedom, liberty, and large noisy parties. The Safety Nazis advocate gun control, vigorous exercise, and health foods. The result can only be a disarmed, exhausted, and half-starved population ready to acquiesce to dictatorship of some kind.”

BelieveKindForceResultsPartyHalfLibertyLandReadyHealthExerciseGunSafetyPopulationSeekingConspiracyDictatorshipNaziExhaustedGun ControlShoutingVigorousFreedom LibertyNoisyHealth FoodExercise And Health
Book:Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . .
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“I'd like to end the book a lot of ways. Except I don't have any answers. Use your common sense. Be nice. This is the best I can do. All the trouble in the world is human trouble. Well, that's not true. But when cancer cells run amok and burst out of the prostate and take over the liver and lymph glands and end up killing everything in the body including themselves, they certainly are acting like some humans we know.”

KnowsWorldWayLifeHumansWellsI CanBookEndsUseBodyRunningCan DoAnswersCommonActingNiceTroubleKillingIncludingCancerCommon SenseCellsBeing NiceLiverGlandsProstate
Author:P. J. O'Rourke
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