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P. J. O'Rourke

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

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Famous P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

“Money is preferable to politics. It is the difference between being free to be anybody you want and to vote for anybody you want. And money is more effective than politics both in solving problems and in providing individual independence. To rid ourselves of all the trouble in the world, we need to make money. And to make money, we need to be free.”

WorldWantNeedsProblemIndividualDifferencesTroubleVoteIndependenceMaking MoneyProvidingProblem SolvingBeing FreeIndividual Independence
Book:All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty
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“If libertarianism were easy to explain, and it weren't easy to exaggerate the effects of libertarianism, I think it would have been done already. Many many very intelligent people have applied themselves to crafting an agenda that people could grab ahold of. But the problem of course is that libertarianism isn't political. It is kind of anti-political. It wants to take a lot of things out of the political arena.”

PeopleIfsThinkingWantKindHas BeensDoneProblemPoliticalCoursesEasyEffectsIntelligentAgendasLibertarianismArenaAnti Political
Author:P. J. O'Rourke
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“Wealth is, for most people, the only honest and likely path to liberty. With money comes power over the world. Men are freed from drudgery, women from exploitation. Businesses can be started, homes built, communities formed, religions practiced, educations pursued. But liberals aren't very interested in such real and material freedoms. They have a more innocent - not to say toddlerlike - idea of freedom. Liberals want the freedom to put anything into their mouths, to say bad words and to expose their private parts in art museums.”

PeopleMenWorldWantArtIdeasRealHomeCommunityWealthLibertyPathHonestMaterialsMouthsBuiltInnocentMuseumsExploitationPursuedDrudgeryBad WordPrivate Parts
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
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“Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or fear to grow old. After 215 years of trying, we have finally discovered a special interest that includes 100 percent of the population. Now we can vote ourselves rich.”

TryingYearsMadeGovernmentSocialGrowsInterestRichSpecialSecurityPercentProgramVotePopulationSocial SecuritySpecial InterestsGovernment ProgramsGovernment Welfare
Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government
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“There are twenty-seven specific complaints against the British Crown set forth in the Declaration of Independence. To modern ears they still sound reasonable. They still sound reasonable, in large part, because so many of them can be leveled against the federal government of the United States.”

StillsStatesGovernmentSoundUnitedUnited StatesModernEarsTwentiesIndependenceSevenBritishReasonableCrownsComplaintsFederal GovernmentDeclarationDeclaration Of Independence
Author:P. J. O'Rourke
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“Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This is why most news about government sounds as if it were federally mandated -- serious, bulky and blandly worthwhile, like a high-fiber diet set in type.”

IfsBelieveGovernmentSoundSeriousTypeNewsJournalismDietsBranchesWorthwhileFourthFiber
Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government
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“Automobiles are free of egotism, passion, prejudice and stupid ideas about where to have dinner. They are, literally, selfless. A world designed for automobiles instead of people would have wider streets, larger dining rooms, fewer stairs to climb and no smelly, dangerous subway stations.”

PeopleWorldIdeasPassionRoomsStreetsDangerousStupidPrejudiceDinnerClimbsStationsFewerSelflessEgotismStairsAutomobileSubwayDiningDining RoomsSmellyStupid Ideas
Book:Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer
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“I am a journalist and, under the modern journalist's code of Olympian objectivity (and total purity of motive), I am absolved of responsibility. We journalists don't have to step on roaches. All we have to do is turn on the kitchen light and watch the critters scurry.”

LightTurnsResponsibilityStepsWatchesModernJournalismJournalistCodeMotiveKitchenPurityTurn-onObjectivityOlympianRoachesCrittersModern Journalism
Book:Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader
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“The poor of the world cannot be made rich by the redistribution of wealth. Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped poverty, taking their money and giving it as a reward to people who have failed to escape.”

PeopleWorldGivingMadeWealthPoorPovertyRichRewardsPerditionRedistribution Of Wealth
Book:All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty
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“I wonder if it changes the nature of a society for beauty to be so common. Maybe in Vietnam "She has a wonderful personality" really means something. But I couldnt figure out a polite way to ask.”

IfsWayLoveMeanAsksCommonWonderWonderfulFiguresPersonalityVietnamPoliteReally Mean
Book:All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty
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“Now for good or ill, California is the place where trends tend to be set in Western civilization - if civilization indeed it is. California, for several generations now, has been the newest, biggest, most experimental place in the newest, biggest, most experimental part of liberal Western capitalism - which is itself a new experiment for mankind.”

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Author:P. J. O'Rourke
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“We won't dispassionately investigate or rationally debate which drugs do what damage and whether or how much of that damage is the result of criminalization. We'd rather work ourselves into a screaming fit of puritanism and then go home and take a pill.”

HomeResultsFitDrugLibertarianDebateDamagePillsPuritanism
Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government
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“When a couple decides to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having a party and telling all their friends. This is not only courteous but practical. Parents may be very willing to pitch in with comments, criticism, and malicious gossip of their own to help the divorce along.”

ShouldMayHelpingParentPartyWillingCoupleCriticismDivorcePracticalsGossipCommentSingle LifeMaliciousCourteousMalicious Gossip
Book:Modern manners
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“That doesn't mean that you should just sit back and just let accidents happen to you. No, you have to go out and cause them yourself. That way you're in control of the situation.”

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Book:Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of P. J. O'Rourke
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“The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin. The next best vegetable is the jalapeno pepper. It has the virtue of turning salads into practical jokes.”

NextSinVirtueJokesCookingStupidityPracticalsVegetablesSaladSauceBachelorsPeppersPractical JokeTabascoJalapenos
Book:The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig
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“This is the most elaborate and luxurious method of convincing others that you can cook. Take everybody out on your yacht until they're green in the face. Then you can rave for weeks about your sauce marinara and no one will gainsay you.”

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Book:The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig
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