Best Comedian Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings Page 12

“I don't do too many jokes about current affairs, because almost every comedian always does that.”

Doe Jokes Affair Currents Comedian Current Affairs

“A lot of the comedians nowadays just do comedy as a stepping stone. Take for example Dane Cook. The guy is huge. The main reason he got into it is to do what he is doing now: film and television work.”

Reason Film Guy Comedy Example Television Huge Stones Cooks Comedian Stepping Stones Film And Television

Author:Gabriel Iglesias

“That's one thing about my shows. I tell people, I'm not a comedian, I'm just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don't snap and so I don't go off the handle when I get home.”

People Knows Helping Shows Home Deals One Thing Handle Comedian Help Me Entertaining Reporters Snaps

Author:Gabriel Iglesias

“I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I'm doing. If I can keep this going, I'm happy.”

Ifs I Can Wanted Comedian

Author:Gabriel Iglesias

“I never thought I'd be a comedian. But, growing up, I simply loved watching comedy. The '80s was huge for comedy in the US. Eddie Murphy blew me away with his film Delirious.”

Film Growing Up Comedy Growing Huge Comedian 80s Murphy Delirious

Author:Arj Barker

“It’s been a very old thing for people to gather together and laugh at stuff. The first comedian in America really was Abraham Lincoln. He used to go to a pub near where he lived and stand in front of the fire and he packed the place every night and he would just talk and bust everybody in their guts. He was just a hilarious speaker and that’s what he did.”

People Firsts Together America Used Night Stuff Laughing Fire Fronts Comedian Guts Speakers Every Night Abraham Pubs Old Things

Author:Louis C. K.

“I wanted to be a comedian. I wanted to meet waitresses and felt that being a comedian was my best way to go about it and I was right.”

Way Wanted Felt Best Way Comedian Waitress

Author:Dana Gould

“A good competition for comedians would be where a comedian has a conversation and is then quizzed on what the other person says.”

Persons Would Be Conversation Competition Comedian

Author:Dana Gould

“As a comedian, as an entertainer, there's a lot of downtime. Once you can accept that comedy is a marathon, not a sprint, it gets a little easier.”

Littles Accepting Comedy Acceptance Easier Comedian Marathon Entertainers Sprint Downtime

Author:Iliza Shlesinger

“I think it go serious in college when I found out I really enjoyed making people laugh. It makes me happy. I said, I wanna be a comedian, I wanna get good.' You're not good in the beginning. You're still trying to figure out what the things are that you are going to talk about, what your angle is going to be and there's a lot of trial and error. I just never gave up and that was the beginning of my career. Just experimenting, trying it out and falling in love with it.”

“I don't believe in burning holy books, but I am organizing a protest. I'll be burning all my Dennis Miller VHS cassettes as a special protest. I don't want to hear the introduction 'you may have seen our next comedian on the Hannity show'.”

Want Believe May Book Shows Next Special Holy Don't Believe Burning Comedian Protest Introduction Holy Books Cassettes

Author:Andy Kindler

“I hate when comedians use Performed For The Troops as one of there credits before they go up on stage.”

Use Hate Stage I Hate Credit Comedian Troops

Author:Felipe Esparza

“I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.”

Comedy Jokes Comedian Mexico Translate Stand Up Comedy

Author:Felipe Esparza

“There are three goals for any comedian: to make a living as a comedian; I've been fortunate to do that. To make a name for yourself and to be famous would be great - because it would give me that freedom.”

Giving Would Be Three Names Goal Give Me Comedian Fortunate

Author:Alonzo Bodden

“I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.”

Want Sometimes Christian Party Couple Tea Comedian Swear Tails Tea Party Christian Right

Author:Gary Gulman

“I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.”

People Thinking Reason Together Watches Comedy Comedian Surprising Stand Up Comedy

Author:Gary Gulman

“With basketball, if a guy is having an off night you still can say he's a good athlete. But with a comedian, you see them in front of the wrong audience - and they can look like complete amateurs. It's remarkable.”

Ifs Looks Stills Night Guy Audience Fronts Basketball Athlete Comedian Remarkable Good Athlete

Author:Gary Gulman

“What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.”

Stupid Jokes Comedian Sophisticated

Author:Carlos Mencia

“I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.”

People Ends Hurt Situation Laughing Products Laughter Jokes Cancer Ridiculous Make Sense Comedian Stomach Cheeks Making People Laugh

Author:Carlos Mencia

“If Mandela were a comedian, I bet he would never get mad at a heckler, he'd give him or her a hug.”

Ifs Giving Mad Comedian Hug Hecklers

Author:Godfrey

“Hey man! I'm a comedian but I'm not a clown.”

Men Hey Comedian Clown

Author:Godfrey

“Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would perform in front of a mirror and never go to a club. We are giving this away. Some people are going through so much in their lives, they want to hear something else that's going on in the world and laugh.”

People Ifs Thinking World Want Giving Wanted Laughing Fronts Mirrors Clubs Honestly Comedian Therapists

Author:J. B. Smoove

“I don't consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand there and do their bits; I break every rule in creation. If there's a rule that can be broken in stand-up, I'll do it.”

Ifs Bits Break Creation Broken Comic Comedian Performers Stand Up Comedian

Author:J. B. Smoove

“A lot of comedians are selfish.”

Selfish Comedian

Author:J. B. Smoove

“I talked about everything, man. I've always written material that everyone can laugh at. I talked about growing up. I did a lot of physical comedy. That was my thing. I was a physical comedian. I did anything and everything from running on a treadmill, I can paint a picture on stage of anything.”

Men I Can Running Laughing Growing Up Comedy Growing Written Stage Materials Paint Comedian Treadmills Anything And Everything Physical Comedy

Author:J. B. Smoove

“I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at SNL, I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you’re going to end up at.”

People Ends Actors Process Pieces Determine Comedian Puzzles Snl

Author:J. B. Smoove

“'The Walking Dead' was my favorite show before I even auditioned for it. That's every actor's dream, to be on a show that they're a fan of. It's just dark, and as a comedian, I'm drawn to dark things.”

Shows Dream Actors Dark Fans Walking My Favorite Comedian Walking Dead Dark Things

Author:Josh McDermitt

“Sometimes a photographer is a passenger, sometimes a person who stays in one place. What he watches changes constantly, but his watching never changes. He doesn't examine like a doctor, defend like a lawyer, analyze like a scholar, support like a priest, make people laugh like a comedian, or intoxicate like a singer. He only watches. This is enough. No, this is all I can do. All a photographer can do is watch. Therefore, a photographer has to watch all the time. He must face the object and make his entire body an eye. A photographer is someone who wagers everything on seeing.”

“A lot of people think I'm a comedian.”

People Thinking Comedian

Author:Dolly Parton

“I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then you see me, you'll see where I got a lot of my stuff.”

Kind Stuff Comedy Stage Dad Raised My Dad Stores Comedian

Author:Pauly Shore

“You have to go away to come back. That's just normal. That's with bands, actors, comedians, everything.”

Actors Band Normal Comedian Going Away

Author:Pauly Shore

“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.”

“Being a comedian is an incredible thing, but it can be scary sometimes.”

Sometimes Incredibles Scary Comedian

Author:Bill Burr

“There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.”

Knows Enough Difficult Careers Periods Draws Window Comedian Good Enough Tickets Nobody Knows

Author:Bill Burr

“I'm more of a comedian. I wouldn't mind being on SNL (Saturday Night Live). I think that would be cool.”

Thinking Mind Would Be Night Comedian Saturday Saturday Night Being Cool Saturday Night Live Snl

Author:Cheyenne Kimball

“I've been in radio, God, twenty years. I started as a stand-up comedian. I wanted to be Carol Burnett when I was growing up. Radio was just kind of an accident. I did morning radio in my hometown of Buffalo, then went to Rochester, then Chicago, and then New York.”

Years Kind Wanted Morning Growing Up Growing New York Twenties Radio Accidents Comedian Chicago Hometown Carols Buffalo Stand Up Comedian Rochester

Author:Stephanie Miller

“This is something that the nimblest standup comedians learn, over time, to handle gracefully. They'll go between prepared material, then they'll respond to what's happening in the room and weave it back into the prepared material and so on.”

Rooms Materials Happenings Prepared Handle Comedian

Author:John Hodgman

“I can get where some scientists would say comedians are crazy. What you have to understand: A lot of comedians are dealing with a dark passion. A lot of these are guys coming from a tumultuous life, including myself. Some people need outlets, a way to express yourself.”

People Way Needs I Can Guy Passion Dark Crazy Scientist Including Comedian Outlets Express Yourself

Author:Kevin Hart

“Having other comedians complimenting my work is the biggest accolade that I can get.”

I Can Comedian Compliment Accolades

Author:Kevin Hart

“I think, first of all, I don't think people understand Ice Cube's body of work. Ice Cube is a, and I hate to use the word 'urban' but - when you think of Judd Apatow, and a person who's launched so many careers, Ice Cube has done that for so many comedians, you know?”

People Thinking Knows Firsts Persons Done Use Body Hate Careers I Hate Ice Comedian Urban Cubes

Author:Kevin Hart

“I'm trying to do what Eddie Murphy did for his generation. You have to show people, 'I'm different. I'm not just a comedian.' I'm trying to become a rock star.”

People Trying Different Shows Stars Generations Rocks Comedian Rock Star Murphy

Author:Kevin Hart

“If you want to see what stage comedians did to get laffs a century ago, watch the 1910 'Wizard of Oz.' I hope you have a high tolerance for pratfalls.”

Ifs Want Watches Century Stage Tolerance Comedian Wizards

Book:Ancient Rockets: Treasures and Train Wrecks of the Silent Screen

Source: Ancient Rockets: Treasures and Train Wrecks of the Silent Screen

“Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, 'What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.'”

Knows Clubs Comedian Owners Nobody Knows Back When Jerry Hanging Around

Author:Gilbert Gottfried

“Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.”

Ifs Want Use Kids Comedy Nice Jokes Blue Clubs Comedian Performing Bad Word Comedy Clubs

Author:Gilbert Gottfried

“You know, in Los Angeles, you're constantly in your car, you're sealed up, you're not walking around. Whereas in New York, after a while, all your stuff is kind of public, in one way or the other. I'm not saying either one of those is bad; they're both great for a very specific kind of comedian. And I'm glad that they both exist.”

Knows Way Kind Stuff Car New York Walking Glad One Way Comedian Los Angeles

Author:Patton Oswalt

“In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.”

Writing Mind Comedian Branches

Author:Patton Oswalt

“Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire jokes and up each other, and I thought, This is where I wanna be.”

Firsts Fire Jokes Sitting Comedian Back And Forth Banter Mics

Author:Patton Oswalt

“Here's what I'm afraid of. I know a lot of comedians, friends of mine, who just got into the "Doesn't matter what I say. It doesn't matter. They're just gonna laugh anyway."”

Knows Matter Laughing Mines Comedian

Author:Patton Oswalt

“I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.”

Mean Long Enough Comedy Stage Becoming Alternatives Comedian Relaxed

Author:Patton Oswalt

“Comedians are - at the end of the day, we're just a bunch of people that lack a little bit of - we're very insecure, and we want to be loved and liked by everybody. And you know, I could check my Twitter and there could be 150 people that say wonderful things. There'll be one person who says something negative. And all we focus on is that negative.”

People Knows Want Littles Persons Ends Bits Focus Wonderful Little Bit Negative Checks Bunch Comedian The End Of The Day Insecure Wonderful Things

Author:Russell Peters

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