Browse 1343 quotes about Comedian.
“Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
“You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.”
“No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.”
“There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”
“I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.”
“Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.”
“I'm a stand-up comedian-turned-actor-turned-vampire at night.”
“My personal favorite is Woody Allen, who is just amazing as a comedian.”
“I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.”
“The comedian sticks as religiously to her theme as a dancer sticks to a diet.”
“Like the burlesque comedian, I am abnormally fond of that precision which creates movement.”
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
“I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.”
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”
“I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.”
“The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.”
“I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly”