“Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.”
Comedian Quotes
Browse 1343 quotes about Comedian.
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Comedian Quotes
“I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?”
Source: Treadmill to Oblivion
“All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.”
“I've been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I've never really been a CEO.”
“At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.”
Source: I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me
“You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.”
“Maybe I wanted to hear it so badly that my ears betrayed my mind in order to secure my heart.”
“I now consider it a good day when I don't step on my boobs.”
“A Christmas tree--the perfect gift for a guy. The plant is already dead.”
Source: In the Dozy Hours, and Other Papers
“I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.”
“Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking”
“As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian.”
“Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?”
“If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.”