Best Comedian Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings Page 26

“Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.”

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.”

People Stuff Accepting Comedian

Author:Aziz Ansari

“One can always lament, you know — but to laugh in the face of life, that's very hard. And for me the great tragedian should also be a great comedian.”

Knows Should Hard Faces Laughing Comedian Lament

Author:Martha Graham

“I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.”

Thinking Seeing Comedian

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“Comedians and Feminists... are natural enemies, because stereotypically-speaking, feminists can't take a joke and... comedians can't take criticism.”

Natural Enemy Jokes Criticism Feminist Comedian Natural Enemies

Author:Louis C. K.

“A comedian is simply a different kind of therapist. A comedian is a psychologist and a psychiatrist rolled into one. Except I can't prescribe medicine. (You still need a doctorate, which is bullshit.) Okay, so I'm not like a psychiatrist. Fine. But I'm still like a psychologist (except I can't diagnose or treat mental illness).”

Needs Kind Stills I Can Different Fine Okay Treats Medicine Illness Mental Illness Comedian Different Kinds Bullshit Psychiatrist Psychologist Therapists Doctorates

Book:The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life

Source: The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life

“I wanted to be a tragedienne. I only wanted sad parts. When mother read the press notices when I was on the road, saying I was a 'comedienne,' the tears rolled down my cheeks. I thought comedians had to have black on their faces, or red beards.”

Wanted Faces Mother Black Tears Red Presses Comedian Cheeks Beard

Author:Dorothy Gish

“I grew up in a food-obsessed Italian family, so food was always front and center in my life. I was a food obsessed person who morphed into a comedian and tried to figure out a way to make fun of my cake and eat it too.”

Way Persons Fun Fronts Figures Grew Grew Up Comedian Obsessed Italian Cake Italian Family

Author:Nadia Giosia

“Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'”

People Mean Persons Funny Ugly Comedian Wow Thank You Really Mean White Lie Photogenic Ugly Man

Book:Thank You Notes

Source: Thank You Notes

“Jesus was a brilliant Jewish stand-up comedian, a phenomenal improviser. His parables are great one-liners.”

Jesus Brilliant Comedian Phenomenal One Liner Great Ones Parables Stand Up Comedian

Author:Camille Paglia

“Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking.”

Thinking Shows Jobs America Night Audience Late Pops Comedian Talk Shows Late Night Amplify

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.”

Thinking Found Support Generosity Comedian Stigma

Author:Bo Burnham

“Appurv Gupta brings you a unique point of view that no other comedian in India does. Well worth a watch.”

Wells Doe Views Watches Unique India Point Of View Comedian

Author:Papa CJ

“Of the many qualities I adore about Melissa McCarthy as a comedian and as a dramatic actor, the best is how fully she gives herself to every character she plays.”

Giving Play Character Actors Quality Comedian Dramatic Adore Melissa

Author:Lisa Schwarzbaum

“I was a standup comedian, which is kind of like writing and directing yourself.”

Writing Kind Comedian

Author:Paul Feig

“I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.”

“I think a lot of studios today are run by women, and we are entering a time when a lot of women have evolved in Second City and Upright Citizens Brigade and wanted to become writers and comedians.”

Thinking Running Today Wanted Cities Citizens Studios Comedian Entering Second City

Author:Judd Apatow

“One of my first jobs was on a lesbian cruise. I was the ship comedian for the Lesbian Love Boat.”

Firsts Jobs Ships Boat Comedian Cruise Love Boat

Author:Margaret Cho

“When I was ten, I wrote an essay on what I would be when I grew up and said I would be a professional soccer player and a comedian in off season.”

Said Would Be Player Grew Ten Grew Up Seasons Soccer Comedian Essays Soccer Player Off Season

Author:Will Ferrell

“I guess ultimately a lot of comedians just wanna be taken seriously.”

Taken Comedian

Author:Will Ferrell

“I don’t like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors.”

Writing Actors Comedian

Author:Neil Simon

“Molly Shannon and I used to always talk about that we really felt strongly that we were comedic actors, that we weren't comedians. You just played things real and the comedy came out of the context.”

Real Used Actors Felt Comedy Comedian Comedic Shannon

Author:Will Ferrell

“I'm not a comedian. I can play off of people, but I'm not that guy. I don't want people being like, 'Yeah, he should have stuck with drama.' It would not be my choice to have critics mumbling that.”

People Want Should I Can Play Guy Choices Drama Should Have Yeah Critics Stuck Comedian That Guy

Author:Channing Tatum

“There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.”

Thinking Made Parent Comedian Being A Parent

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Comics write to their point of view. If you're an exceedingly irreverent comedian, you've got to see where that point of view fits or produces the most funny.”

Ifs Writing Views Produce Fit Point Of View Comedian Irreverent Most Funny

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy.”

People Needs Persons Made Kids Guy Actors Process Parent Creative Five Jokes Criticism Comedian Lazy Creative People Better Person Good Guy

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.”

People Writing Used Challenges Enjoyed Comedian

Author:Denis Norden

“The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up.”

Use Certain Song Pay Comedy Materials Amount Paid Finished Comedian Publishers

Author:Denis Norden

“I always loved comedy, but I never knew it was something you could learn to do. I always thought that some people are born comedians ... just like some people are born dentists.”

People Born Comedy Comedian Dentist

Author:Paul Reiser

“Down deep in His heart God is a comedian who loves to make us laugh.”

Heart Laughing Laughter Comedian

Book:Timebends: A Life

Source: Timebends: A Life

“Today's comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an act and he told the audience, This is my act. Today's comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes he's telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.”

May Today Lying Next Audience Comedy Generations Week Bears Built Crosses Assuming Comic Comedian Damn Telling The Truth Next Week Older Generation Crosses To Bear

Author:Lenny Bruce

“Old radio comedy makes me laugh, as well as 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue' and comedians like Paul Merton.”

Wells Laughing Comedy Havens Sorry Radio Comedian I'm Sorry Clue Make Me Laugh

Author:Lynne Truss

“All comedians are people who really deeply consider the human experience not only a dirty trick perpetrated by a totally meaningless procedure of accidents, but an unbearable ordeal every day, which can be made tolerable only by mockery in one form or another.”

People Humans Made Form Accidents Tricks Comedian Dirty Meaningless Human Experience Unbearable Procedures Mockery Tolerable Ordeals Really Deep

Author:William Saroyan

“Comedians are the nearest to suicide.”

Suicide Comedian

Book:The Avignon Quintet: Monsieur, Livia, Constance, Sebastian and Quinx

Source: The Avignon Quintet: Monsieur, Livia, Constance, Sebastian and Quinx

“It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don't work that way. There was a temptation in the early '70s to reconsider. I decided against it.”

Way Problem Decision Comedy Decided Clean Temptation Comedian No Problem

Author:Bob Newhart

“I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line.”

Ifs Thinking Knows May Persons Lines Environment Backgrounds Comedian Ingredients Family Background

Author:Bob Newhart

“Well, my career choice made a difference because I never would have met my wife, Jenny. I met her through comedian Buddy Hackett. He set us up on a blind date and then we got married.”

Wells Made Choices Differences Careers Wife Mets Married Blind My Wife Comedian Buddy Jenny Choices Made Careers Choices Blind Date

Author:Bob Newhart

“Inside was the second LP album of a comedian's performance before an audience.”

Audience Performances Albums Comedian

Author:Shelley Berman

“I was an actor before becoming a comedian.”

Actors Becoming Comedian

Author:Shelley Berman

“I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them.”

Knows Believe Important I Believe Comedian

Author:Shelley Berman

“The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.”

Matter Whole Attitude Laughing Jokes Performances Comedian

Author:Jack Dee

“If I've inadvertently become some sort of role model for failed comedians, then it's really backfired very badly on me.”

Ifs Roles Models Comedian Role Models

Author:Jack Dee

“I was a film-directing major at NYU. I'm still not sure why I became a directing major, when I was really an actor and a comedian, but there was something that drew me to doing that.”

Stills Film Actors Majors Comedian Not Sure Nyu Film Directing

Author:Billy Crystal

“Being a rapper is about being cool, but being a comedian, you're not supposed to be the coolest guy.”

Guy Supposed To Be Comedian Rapper Being Cool

Author:Aziz Ansari

“Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.”

Believe Funny Certain Humorous Contrary France Comedian Pastime

Author:Bob Hope

“My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he's somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement.”

Long Reason Would Be Wanted Guy Father Comedy Figures Comedian Long Life Understatement Funny Guy Good Long

Book:When You Lie About Your Age, the Terrorists Win: Reflections on Looking in the Mirror

Source: When You Lie About Your Age, the Terrorists Win: Reflections on Looking in the Mirror

“I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second.”

Comedy Comedian

Author:Jack Dee

“Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.”

Men Humor Like You Fool Comedian Ems

Author:Flip Wilson

“I've been doing comedies but I'm not a comedian.”

Comedy Comedian

Author:Sean William Scott

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