Best Comedian Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings Page 5

“But I will say that most comedians are the saddest people I know. That is the biggest paradox to me.”

“I've always been the king of silence. I've always been a minimalist comedian. I've taken my influence from Jack Benny, who was the king of that I've always done 'less is more.'”

Done Silence Taken Influence Kings Comedian Minimalist Less Is More

Author:Albert Brooks

“Ive been a stand-up comedian for years, and I can be silly.”

Years I Can Silly Comedian Being Silly Stand Up Comedian

Author:Diane Neal

“I'm a comedian, not a politician.”

Politician Comedian

Author:Adam Carolla

“Comedians sometimes forget that there's an audience. You gotta be conscious that you're performing for other human beings.”

Humans Sometimes Human Beings Forget Audience Conscious Comedian Performing

Author:Jeff Garlin

“Comedians get jokes offered to them, rock stars get women and underwear thrown onstage, and I get guys that want to take me fishing.”

Want Guy Stars Rocks Jokes Comedian Thrown Fishing Take Me Rock Star Underwear

Author:Les Claypool

“comedians are people who say funny things, and comics are people who say things funny.”

People Comedy Comedian Funny Things

Author:Staton Rabin

“It was a bizarre existence I led in my early twenties - that cliche of the comedian who goes out and entertains a roomful of people and then goes home to a lonely bedsit was unbelievably poignant for me because that was exactly what I was doing. I had periods of real loneliness.”

People Real Home Existence Loneliness Periods Lonely Twenties Comedian Bizarre Cliche Poignant

Author:Paul Merton

“I see myself as a comedian rather than a female comedian. I happen to be a woman, but I am a comedian by trade.”

Happens Female Trade Comedian Female Comedian

Author:Miranda Hart

“I'm such a comedy fan that I just love laughing and so admire comedians who have brought me joy.”

Joy Laughing Comedy Fans Admire Comedian

Author:Miranda Hart

“To have a reputation for being noble, she thought, is more confining than to be known as a wit. On the rare days when a comedian has no jokes, people pardon the lapse. There is no forgiving a saint's occasional day of sin.”

People Sin Known Jokes Perfection Forgiving Saint Noble Wit Reputation Comedian Occasional Pardon Lapses

Book:The hills of Beverly

Source: The hills of Beverly

“A stand-up comedian faces the audiences and gets their immediate feedback. I hide behind the comic strip, and unless people write to me, I dont know what they think.”

People Thinking Knows Writing Faces Behinds Audience Comic Comedian Feedback Comic Strips Stand Up Comedian

Author:Stephan Pastis

“Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.”

Jokes Entertainment Comedian Blasphemy Fart

Author:Katy Perry

“A comedian sees the world bent. I'm tangent to the circle.”

World Circles Comedian Bent

Author:Buddy Hackett

“What makes a comedian has nothing to do with religion. Think of Red Skelton, Jimmy Durante, Jackie Gleason, who were all Catholics.”

Thinking Red Catholic Comedian Jimmy Jackie

Author:Buddy Hackett

“My mom is very good at being passive-aggressive, and my Dad is a total wiseass, so I think the mixture of the two of them is my comedy. But, I am definitely the first comedian in my family.”

Thinking Firsts Two Comedy Mom Dad My Family My Dad Very Good My Mom Comedian Aggressive Passive Mixtures Passive Aggressive

Author:Amy Schumer

“I may sound like a megalomaniac, but I feel like I'm equipped to become a great, memorable comedian, if I keep working my ass off and staying at the pace I'm at, and I feel a responsibility to do that because of the women who have done it before me, and the ones who need to do it after me.”

Ifs Needs Feels May Done Sound Responsibility Ass Comedian Memorable Staying Pace Megalomaniacs

Author:Amy Schumer

“I understand why so many female comics quit or change their path, because it is hard. It's hard to be a comedian, and people have so much aggression towards women. I don't really know where that comes from, but I feel a total responsibility, and I'm gonna do my part, to continue on the path that I'm on.”

People Knows Feels Hard Responsibility Path Female Quitting Comedian Aggression

Author:Amy Schumer

“Some street jokes are just timeless. There's an old street joke about comedians. The joke is that a beautiful girl comes up to a comedian at the end of the night and says, "I saw your show tonight, and I just loved it. I want to go home with you, and I'll do anything you want." And the comedian says, "Were you at the 7 or the 9?" That's just a perfect joke, because it points out how egomaniacal and obsessive comedians are. Even though I'm not waiting for a groupie, I can completely understand it. It just defines how comedians are driven.”

Want I Can Ends Shows Home Beautiful Night Girl Waiting Perfect Saws Streets Jokes Come Up Driven Comedian Tonight Timeless Obsessive Beautiful Girl Groupie

Author:Amy Schumer

“I love comedy. I don't approach it any different. I'm not a comedian. I'm not a stand-up. I just do it like a part and personally, I love to watch comedies. If you don't get to do what you like to watch you get frustrated.”

Ifs Different Watches Comedy Approach Comedian Frustrated Just Do It

Author:Uma Thurman

“I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.”

People Thinking Kind Long Long Time Comedian Acknowledgment

Author:Jeff Foxworthy

“The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I'm in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can't seem to come up with anything new that's funny. That's a tough place to be as a comedian.”

People Writing Seems Laughing Jokes Tough Sick Come Up Comedian Only Time Making People Laugh

Author:Bill Burr

“I`ve not really been angling to be a comedian. I knew comics and I loved them and I loved being funny, but I didn't understand the whole concept of becoming one. My first couple of times on stage, I was like, "This is what I'm doing for sure." I was so excited.”

Firsts Whole Stage Couple Becoming Concepts Excited Comedian Being Funny Angling Becoming One

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“Growing up and being a kid, I knew that creativity was at the heart of what I wanted to do. I always had this feeling of wanting to be a comedian and wanting to be an actor.”

Heart Feelings Kids Wanted Actors Creativity Growing Up Growing Comedian Being A Kid

Author:Chris Gethard

“If you are a New York comedian who knows how to improvise and has glasses, you're going to start getting commercials.”

Ifs Knows Know How New York Glasses Comedian

Author:Chris Gethard

“What I became a comedian for was to get my art out. To get some of these feelings and things I had on my chest out. I don't care if people believe them, listen to them, change their ways, or think, or any of that kind of crap. I'm interested in showing off. I'm the same kid from sixth grade who stood up and said "watch this."”

People Ifs Thinking Way Believe Kind Art Said Feelings Care Kids Watches Don't Care Comedian I Don't Care Grades Chests Crap Showing Off Stood Up Sixth Grade

Author:George Carlin

“Awards mean nothing to comedians. What matters is the audience, how you're doing - artistically, for the most part - at that moment.”

Mean Matter Moments Audience Comedian That Moment Awards What Matters

Author:Steve Martin

“I like what a third man brings. A kind of oblique vision, seeing something in the material that you didn't know was there. As a comedian, I'm always listening to the audience. And in movies, sometimes the only audience you have is the producer and the director. I like having someone else's opinion, especially if you're on the same wavelength.”

Ifs Knows Men Kind Sometimes Vision Opinion Audience Seeing Materials Listening Directors Thirds Producers Comedian Wavelength

Author:Steve Martin

“I try to stay with it and I try to stay in contact with comedians and just keep comedians in my life 'cause comedians are their own species. If you get away from them, especially as a comedian, I think it's dangerous.”

Ifs Thinking Trying Causes Dangerous Species Contact Comedian Get Away

Author:Chris Rock

“Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.”

Clothes Comedian Emperor

Author:Chris Rock

“I've told Michael Jackson jokes. If you got really technical, you could say those are jokes about child molestation. You could, if you got technical. A lot of this is just selective outrage because honestly, the audience are the ones that tell us that something shouldn't be spoken. The audience lets us know. And I've never, in my almost 30 years of being a comedian, seen a comedian continue to tell a joke that the audience doesn't respond to. I've never seen it.”

Ifs Knows Years Children Audience Jokes Honestly Comedian Outrage Selective Molestation

Author:Chris Rock

“I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.”

Believe I Believe Criticism Credit Comedian

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.”

Thinking Way Should Writing Guy Wish Doors Type Stuck Comedian Revolving Revolving Doors

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“I don't have any delusions. I'm not a novelist - I'm a comedian who writes. I love doing the stand-up and the touring and the albums and all that, but it's pretty amazing to go into a library and see your book there.”

Writing Book Library Albums Comedian Novelists Delusion Touring

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“There's comedians who I consider extremely punk rock who I've seen do very political stand up in places where nobody wants to hear that. It's uncomfortable and scary and you realize it's the punkest performance you've ever witnessed.”

Want Political Realizing Rocks Performances Scary Comedian Uncomfortable Punk Punk Rock

Author:Kathleen Hanna

“Conclusions are based in time. We live in time. So any definition of success is bound up with time. With other things you can say, "Can I yo-yo? Can I juggle?" Usually you have a pretty small window in which to get your answer. Stand-up is different. You can't do stand-up for one night and say, "Am I a funny stand-up comedian?" In two months or two years you'll start to realize it.”

Years Two Different Night Realizing Answers Months Window Bounds Definitions Conclusion Comedian Two Years One Night Two Months Definition Of Success Stand Up Comedian

Author:Demetri Martin

“For a comedian to kind of catch onto something right as something's catching on in our culture, a lot of it is luck, and you hope the joke is funny.”

Kind Culture Jokes Luck Comedian Catching Catching On

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Comedians rarely have writers, and if you do it's usually a sign of laziness.”

Ifs Comedian Laziness

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“I think comedians get too much credit or too much criticism for the style of comedy they do, and they generally do the style of comedy that works for them. [...] There's no kind of shrewd calculation going into the type of standup we all do. It's like David Cross is supposed to be doing the David Cross' type of standup.”

Thinking Kind Comedy Too Much Style Type Crosses Criticism Credit Supposed To Be Comedian Calculations

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“In 1987, I was in Edinburgh doing my first one-man show. I took part in a kickabout with some fellow comedians and tripped over my trousers and heard this cracking sound in my leg. A couple of days later I went into a coma and was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism.”

Men Firsts Shows Sound Heard Couple Fellows Legs Comedian One Man Trousers Coma Edinburgh

Author:Paul Merton

“The most difficult thing has definitely been movies. From a comedian's standpoint, you think being real big is the best thing, but with movies, the screen is huge, you're big anyway! Also, coming from a TV personality - MTV was all about high energy and selling the hottest video - I had to learn to [take it down]. A lot of characters I'm playing are not necessarily that kind of guy.”

Thinking Kind Real Character Bigs Guy Energy Difficult Tvs Huge Personality Screens Video Selling Comedian Best Things Being Real Difficult Things Standpoint Mtv Hottest High Energy

Author:Bill Bellamy

“I have late onset ADHD. I take on too much and end up spinning plates, but its entertaining, and it helps you make quick connections if youre a comedian, if you have a brain that can dance around too much.”

Ifs Ends Helping Brain Too Much Late Connections Comedian Entertaining Plates Spinning Adhd Spinning Plates

Author:Rory Bremner

“In general, comedians are attracted to vice.”

Vices Comedian

Author:Natasha Leggero

“For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many times it gets retweeted, but it takes discipline to go back through the tweets and then develop jokes from them.”

Kind Might Discipline Jokes Spending All Kinds Developing Comedian Our Thoughts Tweet Spending Time Gauges

Author:Natasha Leggero

“Your average comedian doesn't know the podcast universe, really.”

Knows Universe Average Comedian

Author:Scott Aukerman

“I'm not interested in being one of those comedians who wants to look good and be this 'cool' funny person. I don't care how weird or ugly I look.”

Want Looks Persons Care Don't Care Ugly Comedian I Don't Care Not Interested Cool Funny

Author:Chris Lilley

“Pakistan hasn't been cast in the role of... interesting cultural place or, you know, land of great comedians.”

Knows Interesting Roles Land Casts Comedian Pakistan

Author:Mohsin Hamid

“I get called all kinds of things - an investigative comedian, a comedian activist - I've lost track of what my job title is.”

Kind Jobs Lost Track All Kinds Comedian Titles Activist Job Titles

Author:Mark Thomas

“I think comedians start off as pranksters or something.”

Thinking Comedian Pranksters

Author:Kyle Dunnigan

“I'm best known as a stand-up comedian, but I'm a good actor in the right role.”

Actors Known Roles Comedian Good Actors Stand Up Comedian

Author:Marcus Brigstocke

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