Best Comedian Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings Page 7

“I really wanted to, but I just didn't understand how people became comedians. I kind of thought it was something you were born into. And so I wanted to be a veterinarian or an architect. I wanted to be in a band, and for some reason I could understand how you could be in a band because I had guitars and all my friends played music. Comedy was a secret want, but it wasn't anything I pursued.”

People Want Kind Reason Wanted Born Secret Comedy Band My Friends Guitar Comedian Architect Pursued Veterinarian

Author:Tig Notaro

“A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing. And you just kind of have it.”

Kind Teach Instinct Comedian Timing Comedic

Author:Chelsea Handler

“I wanted to be a comedian, I wanted people to laugh at what I was saying, not to be staring at my boobs or wearing a skirt and show off my ... I just didn't think that that was the best way to get taken seriously in that world.”

People Thinking World Way Shows Wanted Laughing Taken Best Way Comedian Staring Skirts Showing Off

Author:Chelsea Handler

“When I approach villains, unless it's a drama, I'm a comedian, so I approach most things from a comedic point of view.”

Views Drama Approach Point Of View Comedian Villain Comedic

Author:Rob Riggle

“I'm not a broad comedy guy. I've been funny in movies, but I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who's sometimes funny.”

Sometimes Guy Actors Comedy Comedian Broads

Author:Matthew Lillard

“I love music. I've always wanted to do music, even when I started out as a comedian.”

Wanted Comedian Music Love I Love Music

Author:Jamie Foxx

“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”

“I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.”

Knows Shows Funny Know How Knowing Smart Witty Clever Comedian Protest Picketing

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“When I began doing theatre in high school I saw that I could get laughs from people but I didn't really connect that to going on and becoming a comedian. I was interested in acting and while I was at Boston College I was part of an improv group, Mother's Fleabag, which had a long history and has been known as one of the best college improvisation groups in the U.S.”

People Long Has Beens School Mother Acting Known Laughing Saws Groups College Becoming High School Theatre Comedian Boston Improvisation Best College

Author:Amy Poehler

“Acting is the great love of my life. It gives you permission to use all parts of yourself. Permission to be the hero, the love interest, the comedian, the villain. Transformation excites me. So does truth. Nothing is more thrilling, hilarious, and tragic than the truth. Those things motivated me to become an actor. Also, they always have the best food on set.”

Giving Doe Use Actors Interest Acting Hero Transformation Comedian Tragic Motivated Villain Permission Thrilling Great Love Love Of My Life Best Food

Author:Blake Griffin

“If you like standup and decide that it's overtaking your life and want to hate it, watch 1,000 standup comedians who are trying to get on a TV show.”

Ifs Want Trying Shows Hate Watches Tvs Comedian Tv Shows Overtaking

Author:Adam DeVine

“As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why politics is such a rich area for us, because politicians make promises, and they don't keep them, and when we point out the difference, we get the laugh.”

People Thinking Looks Differences Laughing Rich Politician Promise Areas Comedian

Author:Bill Maher

“I found a great deal of relief and excitement watching comics when I was very young. My grandmother was very into them and so was my grandfather. They had a profound effect on me, so I just found myself watching comedians on the after-school shows: Merv Griffin and that kind of stuff.”

Kind Shows School Young Found Stuff Deals Effects Profound Comedian Excitement Relief Grandmother Grandfather Show Me My Grandmother My Grandfather After School

Author:Marc Maron

“Whether people know the evolution of the conversation or not, I don't know, but thematically, as a comedian, I stay in the same ballpark - around my issues and my philosophy of life.”

People Knows Philosophy Issues Life Philosophy Evolution Conversation Comedian Ballparks

Author:Marc Maron

“I've never been able to tell jokes. In the beginning of my career I did impressions and jokes like any other comedian, but I was never very successful because I did it poorly. So I started to talk to the audience and started talking about the atmosphere around me and started to become angry, not in a mean-spirited way, but in a fun way - and my attitude developed from there.”

Way Mean Able Fun Attitude Talking Careers Audience Successful Jokes Angry Impression Comedian Atmosphere My Attitude Spirited Mean Spirited

Author:Don Rickles

“I always say that comedians and actors were all kind of shy when they were young. I was very, believe it or not, kind of embarrassed as a child. But my mother was a very strong lady and she was the one that kept it going when I thought it would be over for me as a performer. She was always my inspiration and she was a big influence on me.”

Believe Kind Children Bigs Inspiration Would Be Young Mother Actors Strong Influence All Kinds Comedian Shy Performers Very Strong Embarrassed

Author:Don Rickles

“I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.”

Sometimes Use Strange Comedian Compliment Props Humorists

Author:Demetri Martin

“For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.”

People Ifs Sometimes Hard Moving Comedy My Friends Tolerance Comedian Confused Offense Shocked

Author:Demetri Martin

“As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it - to me that's weird.”

People Believe I Can Faces Guy Walks Worry Fronts Cameras Get Up Comedian Believe In Me Crew

Author:Bill Cosby

“I think that if you, as a comedian, are trying to be in people's face, then you've got to come up with new stuff every year. We're in a mass consumption phase where people take things for granted and want things to be instant when these are not things that can be instant.”

People Ifs Thinking Want Trying Years Faces Stuff Mass Come Up Granted Comedian Instant Phases Consumption Taking Things For Granted New Stuff Mass Consumption

Author:Keenen Ivory Wayans

“A comedian, or any artist, needs their time to develop what they are doing. There has to be some respect for the art form and when it's allowed to be seen.”

Needs Art Form Artist Comedian

Author:Keenen Ivory Wayans

“Audiences have proved time and again that they don't want a steady diet of any entertainer airing his social views - especially if he's a comedian.”

Ifs Want Social Views Audience Comedian Diets Steady Entertainers

Author:Johnny Carson

“The classic comedian says there's nothing that's taboo; if you laugh at one thing you've got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.”

People Ifs Light Dark Laughing Comedy One Thing Areas Comedian Classic Taboo

Author:Bo Burnham

“For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.”

Men Feels Comedian Say Anything

Author:Bo Burnham

“I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, "Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro!" I don't know if that's the answer for me. "Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?" I don't worship comedy; at the end of the day I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.”

Ifs Knows Men Want Ends Might Fall Answers Audience Comedy Limits Worship Jokes Instinct Comedian The End Of The Day Altars Bros Miscarriage

Author:Bo Burnham

“The biggest piece of advice that I give young comedians is: If it's your goal to get where I'm at, go do something else. Because you'll never get here. Never. The odds are so bad. Because not only do you have to be a really, really strong comedian but you also have to be lucky. And most people don't get that combination.”

People Ifs Giving Young Strong Goal Pieces Advice Lucky Combination Comedian Odds

Author:Ron White

“I myself grew up when radio was very important. I'd come home from school and turn on the radio. There were funny comedians and wonderful music, and there were plays. I used to pass time with radio.”

Important Play Home School Used Turns Wonderful Grew Grew Up Radio Comedian Coming Home Turn-on Funny Comedian

Book:Kurt Vonnegut: The Last Interview: And Other Conversations

Source: Kurt Vonnegut: The Last Interview: And Other Conversations

“Has anyone seen me on Letterman? Two million people watch that show and I don't know where they are. You might have seen this next comedian on the Late Show, but I think more people have seen me at the store. That should be my introduction. "You might have seen this next comedian at the store," and people would say "Hell yes I have!"”

People Thinking Knows Should Two Shows Humor Might Funny Next Watches Millions Hell Late Stores Comedian Having Fun Introduction Letterman

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have to end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can't be like pancakes. You're all happy at first, but then by the end, you're sick of 'em.”

Firsts Two Ends Shows Humor Funny Strong Keys Elements Sick Comedian Ems Pancakes

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“I was booked into the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas with three other comedians. We all were using the Riviera in-house shampoo, so we all had equal shine and bounce.”

Humor Funny Three House Equal Shining Comedian Hotel Vegas Las Vegas Bounce Shampoo

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things. All right, you're a stand-up comedian, can you write us a script? That's not fair. That's like if I worked hard to become a cook, and I'm a really good cook, they'd say, "OK, you're a cook. Can you farm?"”

Ifs Want Writing Hard Humor Funny Fairs Hollywood Scripts Cooks Comedian Farms Not Fair Stand Up Comedian Good Cook

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“There's two types of hecklers. If someone says something really funny it's normally them heckling as part of the show. They're trying to add onto one of your jokes. If someone says something really funny, I've never seen a comedian abuse them, you always sort of tip your hat a little bit if they nail it.”

Ifs Trying Littles Two Shows Bits Type Little Bit Jokes Abuse Add Comedian Hats Nails Hecklers Heckling

Author:Jim Jefferies

“I wouldn't mind gigging around the same era as Jesus, after he gives his speech about the meek and how blessed they are and all that type of bullshit, going up there and doing a flat 20 [minutes]. I reckon I'd have better stagecraft and presence than Jesus. Yea, I'm a better stand-up comedian than Jesus, so I reckon I could go on after him.”

Giving Mind Jesus Minutes Type Goes On Speech Blessed Eras Comedian Flats Bullshit Meek Stand Up Comedian Stagecraft

Author:Jim Jefferies

“In the stand-up comedy top, there's room for everyone - if you're good, there's room for everyone. You'll put on your own show - no one casts you. You cast your own show as a stand-up comedian. When you get good at stand-up comedy you book a theater and if people show up, people show up. If people don't show up, people don't show up. You don't have a director or a casting agent or anybody saying if you're good enough - the audience will decide.”

People Ifs Book Enough Shows Rooms Audience Comedy Directors Theater Casts Agents Comedian Good Enough Casting Stand Up Comedy Stand Up Comedian

Author:Jim Jefferies

“As a comedian, especially one that works as much as I do, there is a lot of sacrifice. People don't see that I'm away from my family 46 weeks out of the year. I miss all the birthdays and anniversaries and holidays.”

People Years Sacrifice Week Missing My Family Comedian Holiday

Author:Gabriel Iglesias

“You learn to laugh at yourself and you also lean on comedy as a crutch to kind of take the edge off because comedians often are self-deprecating and they cross lines that they shouldn't. Stuff like that brings a smile to my face every once in a while when needed.”

Kind Self Faces Stuff Lines Laughing Comedy Needed Crosses Edges Comedian Crutches Laugh At Yourself Self Deprecating Learn To Laugh At Yourself

Author:John Cena

“Because you make me laugh don't make you a comic. A comedian is a person who, that's how they make their living.”

Persons Laughing Comic Comedian Make Me Laugh You Make Me Laugh

Author:Dick Gregory

“If i wouldn't have done comedy, I would have been a teacher. I was really good when I took an exploratory teaching class in high school, at getting kids' attention, and delivering lesson plans. Though my principal even told me that this was what I was meant to do. And that being a big-mouth comedian was a waste of time.”

Ifs Has Beens Done Bigs Kids School Attention Class Comedy Teacher Plans Teaching Lessons Waste Mouths High School Comedian Wasting Time Principal Delivering

Author:Gabriel Iglesias

“I'm a comedian and there are a lot of things I'm still learning. I love one liners because I love smart jokes. I also don't like complaining about society or whining about my life on stage.”

Stills Stage Smart Jokes Complaining Comedian One Liner Whining One Line

Author:Anthony Jeselnik

“My advice is: to try and stay really true to the things that make YOU laugh, as opposed to trying to create a character that you think is funny. Some comedians get into bad habits when they are trying to create something that is not them, and they are trying to write a voice that isn't their true voice.”

Thinking Writing Trying Character Voice Laughing Advice Habit Comedian Bad Habits Make You Laugh Really True

Author:Dane Cook

“You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.”

People Hard Enough Difficult Realizing Fronts Skins Comedian Thick Email Trust Me Thick Skin Personal Attacks

Author:Dane Cook

“Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.”

Ifs Should Sometimes Comedian Girlfriend Giants Routine Warning Exes Ex Girlfriend Disclaimers

Author:Dane Cook

“Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous.”

People Ifs Earth Comedian Sensitive Callous

Author:Dave Chappelle

“Every comedian is just doing the comedy they find funny. This is me and it's not clean in any way. I could get a lot more work on TV playing clean but it's never interesting.”

Way Interesting Comedy Tvs Clean Comedian This Is Me

Author:Jim Jefferies

“I always wanted to give people the more exciting version of what I think a comedian should be - because I didn't grow up with comics, I grew up with rock 'n' roll. And when I saw a lot of comics, no matter how good they might have been material-wise, I would get a little bored with them after 10 minutes, only because I feel comedians don't really know performance.”

“I don't have a lot of recreation time. I've always been under the assumption that if you're selling tickets you need to work. The kind of success that's happened to me maybe only happens to one comedian every twenty years and so I'm on the road constantly.”

Ifs Needs Years Kind Happens Happened Twenties Selling Comedian Assumption Tickets Recreation

Author:Larry the Cable Guy

“I've found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think.”

People Thinking Kind Has Beens Facts Seems Found Social Dark Rap Comedian Boards Stem Respectful Anti Social Kind People

Author:Bo Burnham

“I never felt like I was stealing anyone's fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.”

People Felt Comedy Fans Stealing Comedian Introducing

Author:Bo Burnham

“I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.”

Knows Watches Comedy Materials Comedian

Author:Bo Burnham

“I'm a standup comedian who gets to act. I'm never going to not do standup. I love doing it and when I go through periods where I'm doing a lot of acting work, I still do standup.”

Stills Acting Periods Comedian

Author:Bill Burr

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