Hilarious Quotes
Browse 487 quotes about Hilarious.
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Hilarious Quotes
“I love any movie that has a retarded person working at Starbucks.”
“I didn't have a big fat Greek wedding, but I have a lot of fat Greek friends.”
“People all over the world recognize me as a spiritual leader.”
“I am truly not one to give advice. I'm divorced and I stole my best friend's husband.”
“I actually don't understand a word Paula's saying anymore. It's like a new language.”
“This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom.”
“I want to focus on my salad.”
“Girls, if a boy says something that isn't funny, you don't have to laugh.”
“Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.”
“There's power in looking silly and not caring that you do.”
“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”
“I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.”
“I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody.”
“How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.”
“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”
“Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.”
“Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.”
“The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit.”
“Dude, are my eyes seeing what my brain is telling my eyes that they're seeing?”
“Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.”