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Hilarious Quotes

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Hilarious Quotes

“As things STAND now, I trust London more than I trust you. Okay, so it fell a little short of a ringing endorsement, Emmett thought as he followed Lydia into the offices of the Transverse Wave Youth Shelter. She could have been a touch more eloquent and maybe a shade more dramatic. I would trust London with my life, my fortune, and my sacred honor, would have done nicely. Or maybe, I would trust London to the ends of the universe. But he would take what he could get.”

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Book:After Dark
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“Everything ok here ?" Ryan grunted urging her with a hand on her lower back. "He thinks you should mind your own business,"Makenna told the Beta,translating the grunt. Dominic cocked his head."You understand his grunts?" She lifted her chin."I thought it was crystal clear." Dominic turned to Ryan."Marry her." Ryan grunted again before heading for the door. "What did he say?"Dominic asked her. "Fuck off,"she translated.”

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Book:Savage Urges
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“We are sometimes dragged into a pit of unhappiness by someone else’s opinion that we do not look happy.”

HumorFunnyPainHappinessFacesJoySufferingQuotesPleasureGriefOpinionSadnessHumourSorrowSadDespairDepressionJokesHumorousBlueMiserySatisfactionDelightHappyUnhappyHolesImpressionSatisfiedMiserableWell BeingBlissHeartacheEnjoymentContentmentSatireUnhappinessMelancholyEcstasyAphorismJoyfulAgonyDistressQuotationsJokeAnguishWoeTormentCheerfulHeartbrokenHilariousPitsDelightedJoyousMerrySunnyAphorismsGloomCheerfulnessOpinionsFaceSmilingRaptureRadiantGloomyDepressedEcstaticTribulationContentDesolationGleeHurtingBroken HeartedEuphoriaJoyfulnessGrinningJollySorrowfulDownWretchednessCarefreeExuberanceExhilarationForlornAphoristAphoristsElationMerrimentGaietyDespondencyHoleEuphoricMalaiseMoroseChagrinImpressionsDespondentDejectedBlissfulBlitheOverjoyedExultantLightheartedJubilationJovialPitDespairingDolefulContentedDejectionLightheartednessMournfulPleasedDownheartedElatedBeamingBuoyantDisconsolateDowncastThe BluesCheerlessGloominessGratifiedJovialityJumping For JoyOn Top Of The WorldUntroubledCheeryJoylessLow SpiritsRapturousWoefulAs Happy As A ClamBeatificBlissfulnessChirpyDispiritedExhilaratedGleefulGlumIn A Good MoodIn Good SpiritsIn Seventh HeavenJocularJocundJollityJubilantLong FacedMournfulnessOn A HighOn Cloud NineOver The MoonThrilledTickled PinkWalking On AirWoebegoneDolefulnessDown At The MouthDown In The DumpsDown In The MouthGlumnessGood SpiritsLugubriousTransports Of Delight
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Nothing is as irritating to a shy man as a confident girl.”

MenTryingHumorFunnyTogetherQuotesGirlCan DoCouragePositiveHumourJokesHumorousSelf ConfidenceNervousManShySatireGirlsRetiringAnnoyingAphorismEmbarrassedQuotationsIntrovertJokeInsecureHilariousAssuredBoldnessEmbarrassmentSelf ConsciousReservedAphorismsCursedShynessSelf ConsciousnessTroublesomeIrritatingConfidentObnoxiousRepressedIrritationTimidityAssertivenessPoiseIntroversionIntrovertedTiresomeAssertiveSelf ConfidentAphoristAphoristsSelf ReliantSelf AssuranceLack Of ConfidenceInfuriatingMettleDiffidenceExtrovertAggravatingBashfulReticenceReserveBashfulnessNerveTimidWithdrawnAnnoySelf AssuredDiffidentBothersomeIrritatePhlegmaticReticentSheepishPhlegmSelf EffacingAplombAt EaseImperturbableMaddeningMousySelf PossessionExtrovertedInhibitedUnperturbedUnruffledCoolheadedCoynessFaroucheGallingIrksomeLevelheadedSelf PossessedTimorousUnconfidentVexingDemurenessExasperatingMousinessNettlesomePeskyPoisedReservednessSheepishnessTimidnessTimorousnessVexatious
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“We love being mentally strong, but we hate situations that allow us to put our mental strength to good use.”

WantProblemDreamHumorInspirationFunnyPainMotivationSufferingQuotesStrongDifficultChallengesPovertyTroubleStrengthInspireHumourJokesHumorousDeterminationPatienceAdversityEntrepreneurMiseryPerseveranceTrialsPersistenceSatireEnduranceResolveResolutionHardshipKeep GoingNeedProblemsDreamerAphorismNever Give UpPersistDistressQuotationsAfflictionJokeStoicismHilariousChallengePersevereTenacityAphorismsMotivateDifficultiesDeprivationTribulationStubbornnessStartupStaminaStartupsStoicSufferTrials And TribulationsGive UpFirmnessHardshipsWretchednessFollow ThroughDreamersStand FirmAusterityEntrepreneursMisfortuneMental StrengthObstinacyAphoristAphoristsSteadfastnessTrialHang In ThereHold OnStaying PowerContinueNeedinessPurposefulnessCarry OnVenture CapitalistsPress OnTribulationsHang OnGo OnMentally StrongStoicsDoggednessDestitutionStay The CourseVenture CapitalistIntransigenceBe DeterminedBe PersistentKeep OnPrivationDire StraitsPenuryKeep At ItPertinacityGo The DistanceImpecuniousnessIndefatigabilityResolutenessStrength Of PurposeTirelessnessBe TenaciousHammer AwayLeave No Stone UnturnedNot Take No For An AnswerObduracyPlod OnPlug AwayPress AheadSoldier OnStand FastStaunchnessStick It OutStop At NothingStruggle OnTravails
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.”

HumorFunnyQuotesCrazyStupidHumourFailureFoolJokesHumorousMadDisappointmentFoolishSillyAssInsaneDumbIdiotInsanitySatireLoserNutsThickAphorismQuotationsJokeBadHilariousNerdZombieRecklessFailDisturbedAphorismsBad PeopleJerkCrackedBananasDopeUnstableMoronMindlessPsychoPsychoticSapIdioticDonkeyUnwiseSchizophrenicMentally IllCrackersAphoristAphoristsDerangedDummyDementedDorkUnbalancedUnintelligentDaftFoolhardyTurkeyBrainlessThoughtlessAround The BendDimBad PersonGoatDumb AssDumboImbecileLocoBonkersBoobCuckooUnhingedCrazedIgnoramusWrite OffDunceLoonySimpletonAirheadBattyBlockheadBozoCertifiableDimwittedDoltGoonImprudentLoopyMad As A HatterNincompoopNon Compos MentisNot All ThereRashWackoWitlessBushedClodCretinGoofHalfwittedImpoliticMentally DisorderedOf Unsound MindSchmuckScrewyStark Raving MadBirdbrainBuggyChowderheadChowderheadedChumpCootCrack BrainedCrackpotDead LossDimwitDingbatDipstickDitzDudDullardDumb CluckDumbheadDumdumDunderheadFatheadFlakeGalootGooberGoofballGoofusHalf BakedHalfwitHarebrainedIll AdvisedIll ConsideredIncautiousInformal No HoperInjudiciousJugheadKlutzLamebrainLummoxMeatballNinnyNitwitNumbnutsNumbskullPea BrainedPeabrainPutzSchlemielSchlepThickheadTwerpTwitUnderachieverWooden Headed
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to die.”

LifeBelieveHumorFunnyDeathQuotesCrazyHumourJokesHumorousInsaneDenialImmortalityInsanityLife And DeathSatireImmortalSincereMortalitySinceritySanityFuneralAphorismSaneDeadDieQuotationsJokeHilariousRipMournAphorismsHereafterLife After DeathRest In PeaceAphoristAphoristsMortalFuneralsDefense MechanismsDefense MechanismDenial Of DeathGone Too SoonAttendThe Hereafter
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are staring at them that they do not eat as much and as frequently as they seem to.”

HumorFunnyQuotesEnergyFoodHumourJokesHumorousGreedImpressionStaringUrgesSatireAphorismQuotationsJokeGreedyGrossHilariousSkinnyRepressionJunkAphorismsObesityDietAnorexiaSuppressionOverweightGazingSlimGluttonyJunk FoodEatSlenderFatObeseAphoristAphoristsStoutLargeGazeFattyLeanFatnessEnergiesStareSkin And BonesUrgeSuppressTakeawaysThinAnorexicGluttonTakeawayTakeoutChubbyFleshyCorpulentPlumpGauntPlus SizedPortlyBig BonedFlabbyHeavysetMeatyPaunchyPotbelliedPudgyRepressAngularBeefyBeer BelliedBlubberyChunkyEmaciatedGrossnessOf Ample ProportionsPorkyRawbonedRoly PolyRotundityScrawnySkeletalTakeoutsTubbyWell UpholsteredAs Thin As A RakeBonyChubbinessCorpulenceFlabbinessGanglingGanglyGawkyHollow CheekedLankyLooking Like A Bag Of BonesPinchedPlumpnessPortlinessRangyScraggySpindlySticklikeStoutnessUnderfedUndernourishedWaiflike
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“How could I not fall in love with him," she asked. And on the tail end of her words, her bedroom door flew open and closed just as fast. Jen bent over, panting heavily as she looked up at Sally. "Hey Sally girl. Who we falling in love with?" Jen asked breathlessly. "Jen, what's wrong?" Sally paused and then decided on a better question. "What have you done now?" Jen stood up and took two deep breaths. Seeming to have regained her wind, she spoke quickly. "First off, I've changed my mind. I don't want you to name your first born after me." Sally interrupted. "Thank goodness for that," she muttered. "I want you to name your entire freaking litter after me," Jen growled. "Do you know what I've been through?" Jen's arms were flinging around as she glared at Sally. "I did that little strip tease to try and keep things from escalating with the rest of the pack and Decebel was beyond pissed. I had to sneak out of the gathering room and make a run for it. I've been running through the freaking forest trying to throw him off by changing back and forth so that I could place my clothes that I carried in my freaking muzzle. CARRIED IN MY MUZZLE SALLY! I put them in different places to throw off him off my scent." Jen went over to Sally's window and was trying to judge the danger of using it as an exit.”

FunnyHumourHilariousBabiesSallyJenStrip Tease
Author:Quinn Loftis
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“NOTHING HAS EVER LOOKED LIKE THAT EVER IN ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY,” he said. His enthusiasm was adorable. I couldn’t resist leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. “Just so you know, I’m right here,” Mom said. “Sitting next to you. Your mother. Who held your hand as you took your first infantile steps.” “It’s friendly,” I reminded her, turning to kiss her on the cheek. “Didn’t feel too friendly,” Gus mumbled just loud enough for me to hear. When surprised and excited and innocent Gus emerged from Grand Gesture Metaphorically Inclined Augustus, I literally could not resist.”

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Book:The Fault in Our Stars
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“Moments later, Sona Kilroy, heading for the open doorway, stepped over the sergeant’s body. With an old auto-rifle in his left hand and his favorite sword in the other, and the sharp melodic din of bolts and bullets ringing in his ears, ‘the Hammer’ grinned an evil grin to himself, well pleased. He wished he could’ve seen the look on the face of Indomitable’s captain when he realized the tables had just been turned on him! The thought amused him. It was bloody hilarious. He cackled, reveling in this complete reversal of fortune. Then he stalked onward with conviction, a grim smile on his lips – intent on taking the ship for himself. * * *”

MomentsEarsLipsConvictionThoughtHilariousBoltsTheAndInJustForOtherHeHimWithReversalIntentOnHisSeenCaptainLaterHadHimselfHammerDoorwayAmused HimCackledIndomitable SKilroyOf FortuneSergeants BodyWell Pleased
Book:Dead Beckoning
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“Seeing his daughter slowly die, coupled with his infinite sadness and misery, the clockmaker becomes a recluse to the tower of the castle and begins to build something behind closed doors, not even his daughter knows what he’s up to. For five years, she only sees him briefly at meal-times before locking himself up in the tower once again..." "...Did he have a bathroom in the tower?" "Yes, Jack. A big one! En-suite! Power-shower and spa! Where was I!?”

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Book:Hearts Anonymous
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“Ryker, you ride with Orlando,” Ryker mocked in a snarky voice as he turned to the other man. He gestured toward the Pinto with a look of revulsion on his rugged face. “How the hell does he expect both of us to fit into that tiny metal trap? Even if we could squeeze in, the tires will probably pop. In fact, let's just carry it over. It'll be faster that way.”

FunnyLaughterHumorousSatireHilariousWerewolvesCarsSnarky
Book:My Wolf Cowboy
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“Orlando had a Pinto, a car that hadn't been in existence for thirty-plus years. He still hadn't figured out why a strong, strapping werewolf would want one. Orlando said it was because he'd customized it. Painted pink with purple stripes, the younger male could often be found cruising up and down the streets of Wolf Town, with his terrible music blaring out of the windows. The car was a ticking time bomb. Already, more than one werewolf had offered to blow it up. Orlando better enjoy it, Connor doubted he would have it for very much longer.”

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Book:My Wolf Cowboy
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“The posters bore the words WITH THE PASSING YEARS COMES...IMPOTENCE! Magnus found himself staring at the posters with a sort of absent horror. He looked at Alec and found that Alec could not tear his eyes away either. He wondered if Alec was aware that Magnus was three hundred years old and whether Alec was considering exactly how impotent one might become after that much time.”

HilariousImpotenceFirst DateMalecMagnusAlec
Book:The Course of True Love [and First Dates]
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“Evangeline spun to the side and slapped him hard across the face. The sound of her hand hitting his cheek echoed through the inn, loud, cracking and satisfying. You loathsome, conceited, cowardly worm of a prince, she thought as she watched his skin turn an inflamed shade of red. She didn't tell him that she knew what he really was and that she would never be his. She wanted to. But she wasn't that foolish. Not when Apollo was surrounded by guards and heroes who could effortlessly subdue her if she picked a proper fight with the prince. 'Oh, Apollo!' she exclaimed instead. 'You startled me.”

FunnyHilariousApolloSlapStephanie GarberEvangeline FoxEvangelineA Curse For True LoveApollo AcadianSlapped
Book:A Curse for True Love
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