“If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
Hilarious Quotes
Browse 487 quotes about Hilarious.
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Hilarious Quotes
“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.”
“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”
Source: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.”
Source: The Complete Stories
Source: Middlemarch
“Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.”
“Thou art a very ragged Wart.”
Source: The family Shakspeare
“It's so trendy, almost bleeding to death. All the cool girls are doing it.”
Source: Fearless: Fearless; Sam; Run
Source: Don Quixote
Source: Dorothy Parker in Her Own Words
“I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
“That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.”
“There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.”
“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.”
“When mice run, cats give chase.”
Source: Stray
“First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.”
“Nicole can do anything that involves a ball and whistle.”
Source: Speak
“All pretty girls are a trap, a pretty trap, and men expect them to be.”
Source: The Glass Menagerie
“There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.”
“A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.”
Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
“The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.”
“After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'”
Source: The Adding Machine: Selected Essays
Source: The Basic Kafka
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.”