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Funny Quotes Quotes

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Funny Quotes Quotes

“At this point, one of the elevators went ‘ping!’ so I whipped Carol across my lap, making it look as if I had her in a full embrace. The doors opened … and the elevator was packed …. Nobody got out, nobody got in. As the doors closed, they collectively leaned toward the center so they could get a better view. Carol and I simply cracked up. Suddenly another elevator went ‘ping’; I quickly dipped Carol over my knee again. The doors opened and a lone woman stepped out, glanced at us both, and then hurried on down the hall. By now, we were both weeping with laughter. Carol slid off my knee and crawled behind the sofa to hide. ‘What are you doing?’ I asked. She couldn’t even reply, she was laughing so hard. With a touch of panic, I noticed that the lady who had just passed us had turned around and was now coming back. Leaning over the sofa, she inquired, ‘Excuse me, are you Carol Burnett?’ In a strangled voice Carol said, ‘Yes,” Then raising a hand above the sofa to point at me, she added, ‘And this is my friend, Mary Poppins!”

Funny QuotesJulie AndrewsHome WorkCarol Burnett
Author:Julie Andrews
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“Now I have a ghost and a grim reaper in my lounge room!" said Lance Infuriated. "A Grim Reaper where?" asked the ghost in horror. "Me, the grand reaper,", said. Blake more engrossed in the television than the ghost who he saw as no problem. "Grand reaper what's that?" the ghost asked. "Another name for a couch potato!" Lance hissed, "King of the Grim reapers he's meant to get rid of you!”

Funny QuotesRachel LawsonThe Haunting Of The NecromancerThe Magicians Lend Me Your Ears
Book:The Magicians: Lend me your ears: first book of the series
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“Vivian’s first impression of Solidago was that she had travelled back in time, but not to a time where architecture had been invented. All houses were twisted out of shape, to say the least. Windows either too large to open or too small to make a difference peppered the city in places one would never dream of having one. The walls were mostly cast in brickwork by the kind of stonemason whose day job was financial advising. Skewed walls with more bricks than mortar, knotted chimneys keeping the smoke inside and cupping rooftops whose main purpose was to gather rainwater – Solidago had it all and more. As the oldest civilization of the cosmos, Alarians might have been excellent at healing, philosophizing and weaving into the fabric of reality, but they were very poor city builders.”

ArchitectureFunny QuotesCityCity LifeVivian AmbervilleWeaver Of Odds
Book:The Weaver of Odds
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“A kiss is the only thing you can throw at someone without being held criminally responsible.”

Love QuotesRelationship QuotesLove Quotes And SayingsLove QuoteMarriage QuotesLove QuotationsFunny QuotesHumorous QuotesDating QuotesHate QuotesCriminalLove Quotes And SayingLove Quotes For EverybodyRelationship Advice QuotesWife QuotesHusband QuotesAnger QuotesLove Quotes LoveRelationship Advice For WomenHumor QuotesHumor InspirationalBoyfriend And GirlfriendGirlfriend QuotesBoyfriend QuotesHumorous QuotationsRelationship Advice For MenCourtship QuotesWedding QuotesFight QuotesKiss QuotesFunny QuotationsHumor QuotationsAngry QuotesRelationship Advice QuoteSpouse Quotes
Author:Matshona Dhliwayo
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“I discovered that politics is not entirely about agendas and manifestos of some old, sullen creep promising a better future of the country as a whole. Politics is being played everywhere and it starts from the very bedroom that you consider your safe haven.”

Life LessonsLife QuotesLove QuotesSarcasmTruth QuotesPolitics QuotesFunny QuotesSarcastic QuotesAdhish Mazumder QuotesBedroom QuotesSarcastic ObservationsBedroom PoliticsGolden TruthsJovial Quotes
Book:Solemn Tales of Human Hearts
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“The fastest way to end an argument with your wife is to admit she’s right.”

Life QuotesRelationship QuotesLife Quotes And SayingsLife Lessons QuotesLife QuotationsLife Lesson QuotesMarriage QuotesFunny QuotesHumorous QuotesRelationship Advice QuotesWife QuotesHusband QuotesAnger QuotesRelationship Advice For WomenBoyfriend And GirlfriendGirlfriend QuotesBoyfriend QuotesHumorous QuotationsRelationship Advice For MenWedding QuotesRelationship 101Funny QuotationsArgument QuotesAngry QuotesAngry Quote
Author:Matshona Dhliwayo
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