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Funny Quotes Quotes

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Funny Quotes Quotes

“For a split second, I wondered if he were some type of sexy sorcerer, who was able to remove my clothing by the force of his will alone. I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on the buttons of his shirt, willing them to pop off. It didn’t work. Then again, it was pretty hard to focus while he was touching me, so maybe under different circumstances, I too could be a sexy sorcerer. Watch out world.”

Funny QuotesRomantic ComedyWitty QuotesAdult Humor
Book:Control
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“And right now, some affiliates of the promiscuous persuasion were beckoning, urging the women to join their huge orgy. ‘Come have a go, ladyships!’ said one of the strumpets. Stella mustered a look so disapproving it made steel feel guilty for being hard. Unabated, the prostitute lit herself a cigarette and winked suggestively. ‘Will make it worth your while and no trouble.’ ‘Er.’ The strumpet sucked on her cigarette with gusto and hastily turned to Aurora. Under the heavy theatrical greasepaint, she saw a hint of black stubble. ‘What about you, hon? Ever swallowed a sword with its sheath?’ ‘Once,’ said Aurora through a wooden expression. ‘It didn’t end too well for the sword.’ ‘Oh leave ‘em be, Kevin,’ another strumpet butted in, as she adjusted the apples in her corset. She had a tall voice, coarse, rugged and edged; the sort of edge you cut protons on. ‘Doncha see they ‘av a lil’un with ‘em?’ ‘And I’ve a wife. What’s your point, Steve?’ the drag queen retorted. ‘Yer wife’s a corpse, mate.’ ‘Guess that makes me a necromancer.”

HumorousFunny QuotesFunny And RandomHilarious QuotesHumourous QuotesFunny As HellHumorous SituationsNeon Science Fiction
Book:5 Stars
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“Now that I've declared my religion, namely, NUTTISM; I anoint myself, Mr. NUTS, as its MESSIAH. And you damn well bow to our god, Mr. NOT. He reveals that your pal up there too is naught! Dare not criticize the messiah - me! Or you'll be kicked in the nuts by my pal Mr. NOT.”

God QuotesFunny QuotesDark HumorFunny HumorLaughter Is The Best MedicineHumour LifeJokes And WhateverHumourous QuotesHumourosly InspirationalNutty As A Fruitcake
Author:Fakeer Ishavardas
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“Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too.”

Relationship QuotesMarriage QuotesFunny QuotesProposeDating QuotesRelationship Advice QuotesRelationship Advice For WomenHumor QuotesGirl QuotesBoyfriend And GirlfriendGirlfriend QuotesBoyfriend QuotesHumorous QuotationsRelationship Advice For MenCourtship QuotesWedding QuotesHumourous QuoteHumourous QuotesFunny QuotationsHumor QuotationsForget QuotesPropose Marriage
Author:Matshona Dhliwayo
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“Love is a hook; the moment a man swallows it, a woman knows she has him forever.”

Life QuotesLove QuotesRelationship QuotesLife Quotes And SayingsLove Quotes And SayingsLife Lessons QuotesLife QuotationsLife Lesson QuotesLove QuoteLife QuoteMarriage QuotesLove QuotationsFunny QuotesLife Quotes Inspirational QuotesDating QuotesWoman QuotesLove Quotes And SayingLove Quotes For EverybodyRelationship Advice QuotesWife QuotesHusband QuotesLove Quotes LoveRelationship Advice For WomenHumor QuotesWoman QuotationsBoyfriend And GirlfriendGirlfriend QuotesBoyfriend QuotesHumorous QuotationsRelationship Advice For MenCourtship QuotesWedding QuotesHumorous QuoteHumourous QuotesFunny QuotationsHumor Quotations
Author:Matshona Dhliwayo
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“The worst part about being sick is not getting any sympathy from my wife. She says I have the "man-flu." The Urban Dictionary defines "man-flu" as "an illness that causes the male to be completely helpless and sicker than any other family member." In females it is known as a cold.”

HumorFunny QuotesFunny But TrueLaughter Is The Best MedicineLaugh Out Loud
Book:Don't Throw the Believer Out with the Baptistry Water: The Best of The Point Is... Volume 1
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“So this funny incident happened a week ago. I was in a Departmental Store and I couldn't find what I was looking for and so went to the shop assistants who were two girls. Me: Is Moustache and Beard Wax available at this store? The two girls looked at me with surprise and asked: To remove your moustache and beard?”

Funny QuotesBeardFunny But TrueLaughter Is The Best MedicineMoustacheLaughter QuotesHumourous SituationsMoustache And Beard Wax
Author:Avijeet Das
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“You will miss a normal life while living a successful life, but not as much as the craving for a successful life while you were living a normal life.”

InspirationalHumansPhilosophyWisdomInspirationMotivationalFunnyInspirational QuotesMotivationWorkWealthMotivational QuotesMoneyMoralRichEconomicMissingConfidenceMoralityWisdom QuotesAmbitionHumanEconomicsWittyGoalsWitWealthyFunny QuotesMoney QuotesSuccessful LivingTalkWalkNormal LifeConfidentWitty QuotesRichestConfidently
Author:Amit Kalantri
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