Funny Quotes Quotes
Browse 507 quotes about Funny Quotes.
Funny Quotes Quotes
“You’re already stuck with yourself for a lifetime. Why not improve this relationship?”
“Most people will do the right thing; if they can afford too.”
“Life is like your favorite meal. Enjoy it until it's gone!”
“I am not trying to be funny, it is just that you're a joke.”
“Yeah, I assure you I hear you perfectly. But my ears don't do so as deftly.”
“I'd have kicked your ass as too your head were both not full of shit, butthead.”
“I consider myself to be pretty normal, in an insane kind of way...”
“I like to be at home. What’s the good of a home, if you are never in it?”
“You smell like Apples," he says. "Don't smell me, Henry.”
“I got my heart checked, report says it's perfectly normal, there is no trace of love in it”
“What a cool name. Where'd you get it?" "I've always had it.”
“I'm not sure who faked their orgasm first, but thankfully it was over rather quickly.”
“All men, to a lesser or greater extent, are cowardice in the presence of wit.”
“I know I’m pretty, I checked twice and my reflection agreed.”
“Comedy is like sex for the brain. And the brain has to fuck.”
“She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.”
“Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.”