Quotessence
Home / Topics / Humorous Quotes

Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Related topics

FunnyWittyHumorIfsMenPeopleInspirationalKnowsThinkingSarcasticLifeStupidChildrenWayWantInsaneProfoundShouldFirstsPowerfulAmericaSaidGivingWorldTwoSarcasmYearsSexLaughterWellsGodBookKidsAgeWritingLongMadeComedyFoodMeanTryingBabyComedianLittlesLoveMayLooksMindNamesPoliticalMarriageRepublicanAirlineDemocratDrinkingFactsHumansParentingPersonsDoeNeedsThreeBeerEnglandHandsHilariousMusicNew YorkAir TravelEnoughI CanIdeasPartyPoliticsStillsFunny LifeKindBelieveDoctorsDrinkHas BeensProblemWarFunInspirationRussiaDiesJapanNextPhonesSchoolStatesYoungCountryFeelsHelpingLastsLawyerMightMoneymore

Humorous Quotes

“The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals; they've piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top of cows, raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle Eastern persons. None of the animals turned into oil, although most of the laboratory rats developed cancer.”

PersonsCountryProblemRunningFormEnergyAnimalMiddleHumorousScientistBillsCancerOilEnormousDepartmentSandEtcCowsRatsEasternLaboratoryDinosaursRaccoonsBulldozers
Author:Dave Barry
Create image

“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”

IfsGodChristianFunnyHeavenReligiousAnimalDogHumorousEntrepreneurFavorsCuteMeritGrievingPetPublishersMy DogPuppyAnimal LoveLecturerHumoristsCanineDog LoverDog TrainingPoodlesPuppy DogPet AnimalsPet DogDog LovePet LossDog RescueGreat DogPoodle DogsPuppies And DogsCute DogGreat PetMan And DogInspirational DogInspirational AnimalDogs And LifeGoing To HeavenAnimal RescueDog LossI Love My DogLove My DogDog GriefPug DogsPuppies And LovePet GriefFaithful DogsDog HeavenHeaven And DogsLost DogPets In HeavenLoving DogLabrador DogsDogs DyingDog FoodSad DogDog DiedBeagles The DogColliesGone To HeavenBeagles
Book:Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)
Create image

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”

IfsMenHumorFunnyDifferencesInspiringAnimalDogPicksHumorousEntrepreneurAppreciationBetrayalPetBitesPrincipalTailsBe GratefulPublishersThankfulMy DogBeing ThankfulProsperousStarvingPuppyAnimal LoveLecturerHumoristsCanineBitingDog LoverPawsDog TrainingPoodlesPuppy DogPet AnimalsCat And DogPet DogOld DogDog LoveDog RescueGreat DogPoodle DogsCute DogGreat PetMan And DogVeterinarianFunny DogInspirational DogCat DogInspirational AnimalTwo DogsDogs And LifeAnimal RescueI Love My DogFunny PuppyRetrieversPug DogsPuppies And LoveDog HeavenHeaven And DogsPets In HeavenDog Best FriendForever GratefulLoving DogLabrador DogsCompassion Towards AnimalsSpanielsDog MemorialBeagles The DogDog Bite
Author:Mark Twain
Create image

“The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.”

MayHumorPleasureAnimalDogFoolPersonalityHumorousPetMy DogPuppyAnimal LoveCanineDog LoverPawsDog TrainingPoodlesPuppy DogPet AnimalsCat And DogPet DogOld DogDog LovePet LossDog RescueGreat DogPoodle DogsPuppies And DogsCute DogGreat PetMan And DogFunny DogInspirational DogCat DogInspirational AnimalTwo DogsAnimal LoverDogs And LifeAnimal RescueDog LossFunny PuppyRetrieversShort DogPug DogsPuppies And LoveScoldingLost DogDog Best FriendGolden RetrieversLabrador DogsDogs TumblrGrooming DogsDog WalkingLabradorsWild DogsHound Dogs
Author:Samuel Butler
Create image

“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”

LifeLooksFunnyLeadershipAnimalDogEqualRespectHumorousCatTreatsEqualityLook UpPetHistorianPigsMy DogAnimal LoveLove And RespectHumans And AnimalsPet AnimalsCat And DogPet DogDog LoveRespect WomenFunny CatGreat PetLove RespectFunny DogInspirational DogPurringCat DogInspirational AnimalAnimal LoverPurring CatsCat LoverPets CatsCat LoveShort DogPuppies And LoveAnimal FoodFaithful DogsHumans And DogsInspirational CatCute CatBarking DogsKitty CatSelf Respect In LoveSelf Respect And LoveRescue CatsWomen Self RespectAnimal Friends
Author:Winston Churchill
Create image

“Throughout my career, I've always portrayed characters that were humorous, but also weren't afraid to speak their minds, especially when it came to racy or controversial topics. I think this struck a chord with the LGBT community. We both also share a very strong love for animals. When you combine the two, it's a very strong match.”

ThinkingMindTwoCharacterSpeakStrongCommunityAnimalCareersShareHumorousLgbtVery StrongTopicsChordsControversialStrong LoveLgbt CommunityControversial Topics
Author:Betty White
Create image