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Shame Quotes

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Shame Quotes

“To be gentle with ourselves requires a willingness to be exposed and perhaps be hurt. As I have already suggested, there is nothing weak or ‘cowardly’ about gentleness, especially when we are relearning to live in this world by minimizing our ‘numbing strategies’ so that we can practise super self-care. When we face our fears, we are acting courageously. Courage happens in the mundane. If we observe people in our local community, we can see courage being practised all around us. Just turning up for life every day requires courage, especially when we are prepared to be present.”

CourageShameGuiltAddictionRecoverySelf CareCodependencyChristopher DinesSuper Self Care
Book:Super Self Care: How to Find Lasting Freedom from Addiction, Toxic Relationships and Dysfunctional Lifestyles
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“Guilt is imperative if we are to create and sustain a decent code of ethics and a sound moral compass. Guilt can help us to listen to our conscience, enhance empathy, and therefore have fulfilling relationships. Without guilt, we would live in an extremely dark world. However, misplaced guilt often triggers us to be over-apologetic and people-please. Many people repeat the word ‘sorry’ without needing to, while still others feel guilty for their very own existence. Emotionally wounded, shame-based people often feel that they are constantly ‘getting in the way’. This stems from a sense of feeling unlovable. To ask for one’s own needs to be met often results in a feeling of guilt. I call this misplaced guilt. Similarly, a person may feel guilty even if they have been abused or harmed by others. Misplaced guilt or excessive guilt stifles people’s chances to live happily and peacefully.”

CourageShameGuiltAddictionRecoverySelf CareCodependencyChristopher DinesSuper Self Care
Book:Super Self Care: How to Find Lasting Freedom from Addiction, Toxic Relationships and Dysfunctional Lifestyles
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“Have you heard the saying by the actor Lily Tomlin, ‘The road to success is always under construction’? I like this concept. My spiritual journey has certainly been messy and uncomfortable at times. I had several emotional breakdowns before experiencing an emotional breakthrough. In essence, layers of deep denial and negative thought-patterns had to be unravelled and replaced with new and greater self-awareness.”

CourageShameGuiltAddictionRecoverySelf CareCodependencyChristopher DinesSuper Self Care
Book:Super Self Care: How to Find Lasting Freedom from Addiction, Toxic Relationships and Dysfunctional Lifestyles
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“Death is always terrible—no one need be ashamed to fear it. How we bear it depends much upon our constitutions. I have seen some brave men, who have smiled at the cruelest amputation, die trembling like children; while others, whose lives have been spent in avoidance of the least danger or trouble, have drawn to their last painful breath like heroes, striking at their foe to the last, robbing him of his victory, and making their death a triumph.”

LifePainDeathFearCourageShameTriumph
Book:Wonderful Adventures of Mrs. Seacole in Many Lands: Large Print
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“Happiness is not a choice, or we’d all be happy. Let’s stop putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves to be happy all the time, and to pretend we can choose to be happy whenever we want. That’s not how life works. Sure, we can make choices that reflect a commitment to our well-being, and the more of these choices we make, the more likely we are to find ourselves feeling good more often. Healthy choices are within our power, and are important. But we can’t choose happiness, and we just set ourselves up for failure by believing we can. Life is more than happiness, anyway. It’s okay to feel all the things we feel. It’s human. There’s no shame in wanting to be happy, of course. We all want to be happy. But rather than try to choose happiness, maybe we can choose to being kinder and more loving. That we can do. We can work hard to take better care of ourselves, and better care of each other. If we do these things, and we remember that we are all connected, all brothers and sisters, all worthy of love, maybe then happiness will choose us a little more often.”

LoveLifeTruthHappinessInspirational QuotesBeliefFamilyPowerFailureFriendsHumanShameHappyWell BeingChoiceLoving
Author:Scott Stabile
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“The only reason that some people aren’t ashamed of their parents and/or siblings is because they know that we know that they did not choose them.”

FamilyBrotherShameChoiceAshamedGrandmotherGrandfatherEmbarrassedUnclesSistersGrandparentCousinAuntChooseEmbarrassmentSiblingSisterShamefulSiblingsBrothersFamiliesExtended FamilyNuclear FamiliesGrandparentsChoseGrandmothersUncleCousinsEmbarrassNuclear FamilyAuntsGrandfathersExtended Families
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“And when we say also that the Word, who is the first-birth of God, was produced without sexual union, and that He, Jesus Christ, our Teacher, was crucified and died, and rose again, and ascended into heaven, we propound nothing different from what you believe regarding those whom you esteem sons of Jupiter. For you know how many sons your esteemed writers ascribed to Jupiter: Mercury, the interpreting word and teacher of all; Aesculapius, who, though he was a great physician, was struck by a thunderbolt, and so ascended to heaven; and Bacchus too, after he had been torn limb from limb; and Hercules, when he had committed himself to the flames to escape his toils; and the sons of Leda, and Dioscuri; and Perseus, son of Danae; and Bellerophon, who, though sprung from mortals, rose to heaven on the horse Pegasus. For what shall I say of Ariadne, and those who, like her, have been declared to be set among the stars? And what of the emperors who die among yourselves, whom you deem worthy of deification, and in whose behalf you produce some one who swears he has seen the burning Caesar rise to heaven from the funeral pyre? And what kind of deeds are recorded of each of these reputed sons of Jupiter, it is needless to tell to those who already know. This only shall be said, that they are written for the advantage and encouragement of youthful scholars; for all reckon it an honourable thing to imitate the gods. But far be such a thought concerning the gods from every well-conditioned soul, as to believe that Jupiter himself, the governor and creator of all things, was both a parricide and the son of a parricide, and that being overcome by the love of base and shameful pleasures, he came in to Ganymede and those many women whom he had violated and that his sons did like actions. But, as we said above, wicked devils perpetrated these things. And we have learned that those only are deified who have lived near to God in holiness and virtue; and we believe that those who live wickedly and do not repent are punished in everlasting fire.”

LovePleasureHellVirtueShameMythologyFlamesGreek MythologyGodsPaganismMercuryComparative ReligionJupiterBacchusThe DevilDevilsCaesarHerculesPerseusAriadneChrist MythJesus MythRoman MythologyLedaEternal TormentGanymedeAesculapiusAscended Into HeavenBorn Of A VirginChristian MythologyDioscuriEverlasting Fire
Book:The First Apology of Justin Martyr, Addressed to the Emperor Antoninus Pius; Prefaced by Some Account of the Writings and Opinions of Justin
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“When shame is met with compassion and not received as confirmation of our guilt, we can begin to see how slant a lens it has had us looking through. That awareness lets us step back far enough to see that if we can let it go, we will see ourselves as clean where we once thought we were dirty. We will remember our innocence. We will see how our shame supported a system in which the perpetrators were protected and we bore the brunt of their offense — first in its actuality, then again in carrying their shame for it. If the method we chose to try to beat out shame was perfectionism, we can relax now, shake the burden off our shoulders, and give ourselves a chance to loosen up and make some errors. Hallelujah! Our freedom will not come from tireless effort and getting it all exactly right.”

FreedomHealingShameGuiltRecoveryInnocenceImperfectOffenseSexual AbusePerfectionismChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsIncestHealing InsightsAbusersPerpetratorsChild RapeHealing From AbuseRecovery From AbuseAbuserInnocence LostPerfectly ImperfectBurdens Of The PastFalse GuiltPeptrator
Book:Beyond Survival: A Writing Journey for Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse
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“There is an important insight contained in the book of Genesis, concerning the loss of eros when the body takes over. Adam and Eve have partaken of the forbidden fruit, and obtained the ‘knowledge of good and evil’ – in other words the ability to invent for themselves the code that governs their behaviour. God walks in the garden and they hide, conscious for the first time of their bodies as objects of shame. This ‘shame of the body’ is an extraordinary feeling, and one that no animal could conceivably have. It is a recognition of the body as in some way alien – the thing that has wandered into the world of objects as though of its own accord, to become the victim of uninvited glances. Adam and Eve have become conscious that they are not only face to face, but joined in another way, as bodies, and the objectifying gaze of lust now poisons their once innocent desire. Milton’s description of this transition, from the pure eros that preceded the fall, to the polluted lust that followed it, is one of the great psychological triumphs in English literature. But how brilliantly and succinctly does the author of Genesis cover the same transition! By means of the fig leaf Adam and Eve are able to rescue each other from the worst: to ensure, however tentatively, that they can still be face to face, even if the erotic has now been privatized and attached to the private parts. In his well-known fresco of the expulsion from Paradise, Masaccio shows the distinction between the two shames – that of the body, which causes Eve to hide her sexual parts, and that of the soul, which causes Adam to hide his face. Like the girl in Goya’s picture, Adam hides the self; Eve shows the self in all its confused grief, but still protects the body – for that, she now knows, can be tainted by others’ eyes. I have dwelt on the phenomenon of the erotic because it illustrates the importance of the face, and what is conveyed by the face, in our personal encounters, even in those encounters motivated by what many think to be a desire that we share with other animals, and which arises directly from the reproductive strategies of our genes. In my view sexual desire, as we humans experience it, is an inter-personal response – one that presupposes self-consciousness in both subject and object, and which singles out its target as a free and responsible individual, able to give and withhold at will. It has its perverted forms, but it is precisely the inter-personal norm that enables us to describe them as perverted. Sexual relations between members of other species have, materially speaking, much in common with those between people. But from the intentional point of view they are entirely different. Even those creatures who mate for life, like wolves and geese, are not animated by promises, by devotion that shines in the face, or by the desire to unite with the other, who is another like me. Human sexual endeavour is morally weighted, as no animal endeavour can be. And its focus on the individual is mediated by the thought of that individual as a subject, who freely chooses, and in whose first person pespective I appear as he or she appears in mine. To put it simply, and in the language of the Torah, human sexuality belongs in the realm of the covenant.”

SelfDesireShameEdenFace
Book:Face of God: The Gifford Lectures
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“Most of all, I hate you because I think of you. Often. It's disgusting, and I can't stop.' I am shocked in to silence. 'Maybe you should shoot me after all,' he says, covering his face with one long-fingered hand. ... He doesn't look up as I walk around the desk to him. I place the tip of the blade against the bottom of his chin, as I did the day before in the hall, and I tilt his face toward mine. He shifts his gaze with obvious reluctance. The horror and shame on his face look entirely too real. Suddenly, I am not so sure what to believe. I lean toward him, close enough for a kiss. His eyes widen. The look in his face is some commingling of panic and desire. It is a heady feeling, having power over someone. Over Cardan, who I never thought had any feelings at all. 'You really do want me,' I say, close enough to feel the warmth of his breath as it hitches. 'And you hate it.' I change the angle of the knife, turning it so it's against his neck. He doesn't look nearly as alarmed by that as I might expect. Not nearly as alarmed as when I bring my mouth to his.”

DesireHorrorShameHolly BlackThe Folk Of The AirJude DuarteCardan GreenbriarJudeCardanThe Cruel Prince
Book:The Cruel Prince
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“I was attracted to this old woman. It wasn’t because of the flesh, even though she carried with her the remnants of a stunning lady. I was drawn to her personhood. She was sort of a funny thing, that Margo. And in addition to a chosen sweetness, she had a rare humility that shines and caresses you at the same time. It leaves you asking: how’d she get there—to that place? When she looked at you, they were not with any ordinary pair of eyes. They were with eyes that read Ibsen, eyes that competed in tennis matches, that watched loved ones disappear into the ground, that undressed a lifetime of men, that saw the world and now looks at you.”

DesireShameAttractionAweAdmirationGetting OlderFascinationGrowing OldThe Goodbye Song
Book:The Goodbye Song
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“Nothing humbles a beautiful woman better than not being wanted by a man whose girlfriend or wife is ugly (or not as beautiful as she is).”

MenWantLoveHumorWantedFunnyBeautifulDesireBeautyWifeHumourProudHusbandJokesShameHumbleUglyLustManGirlfriendArroganceSatireAphorismArrogantModestJokeHumiliationUglinessRespectfulBoyfriendAphorismsLikeDegradeMeekSubmissiveHumiliateAphoristAphoristsWivesHusbandsSelf DeprecatingGirlfriendsBoyfriendsOverbearingUnassumingLowerDiffidentDemeanSubduedSelf EffacingAbaseDeferentialDeflateCut Down To SizeLust ForAbashChastenedDebaseMake Eat CrowMake Eat Humble PieMortifySettle Someone S HashTake Down A Peg Or TwoUnassertive Unpresuming
Author:Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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“Feeling bad is not the problem. The problem is that we feel bad about feeling bad. Once you begin to let go of feeling bad about feeling bad, and start feeling better about feeling bad, then pretty soon you'll just feel better. And then you'll feel awesome.”

InspirationalWisdomJoyGrowthEmotionHealingAttitudeAwarenessAcceptanceDepressionJudgmentForgivenessTransformationShameSelf AwarenessGuiltAwakeningSelf GrowthKnow ThyselfAwesomeAwesomenessSelf Judgment
Author:Eric Micha'el Leventhal
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“Changes in Relationship with others: It is especially hard to trust other people if you have been repeatedly abused, abandoned or betrayed as a child. Mistrust makes it very difficult to make friends, and to be able to distinguish between good and bad intentions in other people. Some parts do not seem to trust anyone, while other parts may be so vulnerable and needy that they do not pay attention to clues that perhaps a person is not trustworthy. Some parts like to be close to others or feel a desperate need to be close and taken care of, while other parts fear being close or actively dislike people. Some parts are afraid of being in relationships while others are afraid of being rejected or criticized. This naturally sets up major internal as well as relational conflicts.”

FearRelationshipsEmotionEmotionalTrustPersonalityShameGuiltMemoryTraumaBetrayalSurvivorPtsdDissociative Identity DisorderMistrustBondDissociativeComplex Ptsd
Book:Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists
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“Alterations in regulation of affect (emotion) and impulse: Almost all people who are seriously traumatized have problems in tolerating and regulating their emotions and surges or impulses. However, those with complex PTSD and dissociative disorders tend to have more difficulties than those with PTSD because disruptions in early development have inhibited their ability to regulate themselves. The fact that you have a dissociative organization of your personality makes you highly vulnerable to rapid and unexpected changes in emotions and sudden impulses. Various parts of the personality intrude on each other either through passive influence or switching when your under stress, resulting in dysregulation. Merely having an emotion, such as anger, may evoke other parts of you to feel fear or shame, and to engage in impulsive behaviors to stop avoid the feelings.”

FearEmotionAttentionEmotionalPersonalityBehaviorShameMemoryTraumaSurvivorPtsdDissociative Identity DisorderAvoidanceDissociationAmnesiaImpulsiveDissociativeComplex PtsdAffectDay DreamingAffect RegulationDisregulated
Book:Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists
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“Changes in Meaning: Finally, chronically traumatized people lose faith that good things can happen and people can be kind and trustworthy. They feel hopeless, often believing that the future will be as bad as the past, or that they will not live long enough to experience a good future. People who have a dissociative disorder may have different meanings in various dissociative parts. Some parts may be relatively balanced in their worldview, others may be despairing, believing the world to be a completely negative, dangerous place, while other parts might maintain an unrealistic optimistic outlook on life”

HopeFearEmotionAttentionEmotionalPersonalityBehaviorShameMemoryTraumaSurvivorMeaninglessPtsdDissociative Identity DisorderWorldviewAvoidanceDissociationAmnesiaImpulsiveDissociativeComplex PtsdAffectDay DreamingAffect RegulationDisregulatedFaith Belief
Book:Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists
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“Complex PTSD consists of of six symptom clusters, which also have been described in terms of dissociation of personality. Of course, people who receive this diagnosis often also suffer from other problems as well, and as noted earlier, diagnostic categories may overlap significantly. The symptom clusters are as follows: Alterations in Regulation of Affect ( Emotion ) and Impulses Changes in Relationship with others Somatic Symptoms Changes in Meaning Changes in the perception of Self Changes in Attention and Consciousness”

FearRelationshipsEmotionEmotionalTrustPersonalityShameGuiltMemoryTraumaBetrayalSurvivorPtsdDissociative Identity DisorderMistrustBondDissociativeComplex Ptsd
Book:Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists
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“Changes in the Perception of Self: People who have been traumatized in childhood are often troubled by guilt, shame, and negative feelings about themselves, such as the belief they are unlikable, unlovable, stupid, inept, dirty, worthless, lazy, and so forth. In Complex Dissociative disorders there are typically particular parts that contain these negative feelings about the self while other parts may evaluate themselves quite differently. Alterations among parts thus may result in rather rapid and distinct changes in self perception.”

FearEmotionEmotionalPersonalityShameGuiltMemoryTraumaSurvivorPtsdDissociative Identity DisorderAmnesiaDissociativeWorthlessnessComplex PtsdAffectAffect RegulationDisregulated
Book:Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists
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“You have two choices in life when it comes to truthful observations by others that anger you: You can be ashamed and cover it up by letting your pride take you in the extreme opposite direction, in order to make the point that they are wrong. Or, you can break down the walls of pride by accepting vulnerability as a strength, not a weakness. As you walk through your vulnerability, you will meet humility on the way to courage. From here, courage allows us to let go of shame and rise higher into the person we are meant to be, not the person that needs to be right. This is the road to confidence and self worth.”

TruthLife LessonsChoicesCourageLearningGrowingAdviceSelf HelpHonestyAcceptanceHumilityPrideConfidenceProudEgoBraveryShameSelf AwarenessHumbleVulnerableJudgementVulnerabilityFlawsLet GoSelf GrowthOpenBeing RightObservationsBe BetterChristlikeRise HigherSelf LimitingSwallowing Pride
Author:Shannon L. Alder
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“Shame be damned—own the ruin of yourself. Wear the failure like a vintage coat —torn, tattered heart— you are a worn out classic, a soul of arcane salt and grit. Outcast, iconoclast, standfast. Beyond the black and white blah of buttondown norm we clash and crash in the candle-lit dusk of conscious dreams and darkest desires”

SoulShameIndividualityClassicRebelliousOutcastDamnationIconoclast
Book:Drive Through the Night
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“Jesus is the perfect name! He who put away his fame! And persecuted in shame! That you will never be the same! It's because of you and I He came! Believe him or have yourself to blame! In the book of life, have your name!”

LifeBookJesusChristPrayerPerfectFameWorshipBibleJesus ChristShameBlameFood For ThoughtIsraelmore AyivorBelieve In GodYouPreachingEvangelismNameMePersecutedISameAwayPreachYou And MeBook Of LifeYou And ISermonPraise And WorshipThe SamePersecuteGood NameBelieve In JesusPut AwayHave Your NamePerfect NameYou Will Never Be The Same
Book:The Great Hand Book of Quotes
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“The biggest potential for helping us overcome shame is this: We are “those people.” The truth is…we are the others. Most of us are one paycheck, one divorce, one drug-addicted kid, one mental health illness, one sexual assault, one drinking binge, one night of unprotected sex, or one affair away from being “those people”–the ones we don’t trust, the ones we pity, the ones we don’t let our kids play with, the ones bad things happen to, the ones we don’t want living next door.”

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Book:I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"
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