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Famous Demetri Martin Quotes
“It's weird the way "finger puppet" sounds okay as a noun... ladies.”
“My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork.”
“When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.”
“People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.”
“Whenever I try to spell 'banana,' I feel stupid because I don't know when to end it.”
“I wonder if it's rude for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands.”
Source: This Is a Book
“I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.”