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Famous Steven Wright Quotes
“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
“I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.”
“I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.”
“Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.”
“Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.”
“I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
“If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.”
“My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.”
“I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.”
“How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?”
“If you are sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?”