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Funny Quotes

Browse 13923 quotes about Funny.

Funny Quotes

“Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out.”

People Knows Way Humor Funny Black Holes Exit Black Hole

Author:Tim Vine

“I met this gangster who pulls up people's pants. Name's Wedgie Kray.”

People Humor Funny Names Mets Pants Gangsters Pull Ups

Author:Tim Vine

“Believe it or not, there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people.”

People World Believe Humor Funny Eyebrows

Author:Tim Vine

“In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, "People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea."”

People Ifs Knows Said Humor Funny Hate Paris Interviews Love Hate Gonorrhea

Author:Tina Fey

“Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?”

People Shows Humor Funny White Race

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.”

People Shows Humor Reality Would Be Funny Black White Four Neighborhood Hunts Reality Shows Crackers

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.”

People Ifs Knows I Can Humor Funny Know How Gay Fats Cerebral Cerebral Palsy

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.”

People Humor Funny Grows White Growing Up College Asian Packing Fudge

Author:Adam Carolla

“If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'”

People Ifs Thinking Knows Years Looks Humor Funny Guy Groups Jew Desert Maps Moses

Author:Adam Ferrara

“My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.”