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Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes

“'Tis a good thing to laugh at any rate; and if a straw can tickle a man, it is an instrument of happiness.”

Ifs Men Humor Funny Laughing Laughter Humorous Instruments Good Things Rate Straws

Book:The Works of John Dryden, Volume XX: Prose 1691-1698 De Arte Graphica and Shorter Works

Source: The Works of John Dryden, Volume XX: Prose 1691-1698 De Arte Graphica and Shorter Works

“It is easy to forget that the most important aspect of comedy, after all, its great saving grace, is its ambiguity. You can simultaneously laugh at a situation, and take it seriously.”

Important Humor Funny Easy Forget Situation Laughing Comedy Grace Laughter Aspect Excellence Saving Ambiguity Saving Grace

Author:Stephen Fry

“A laughing Lear would be monstrous. Not so a laughing Romeo and Juliet.”

Would Be Funny Laughing Monstrous Juliet Lear

Author:Mason Cooley

“Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not.”

Inspirational Doe Running Funny Laughing Risk Laughter Ridiculous Consistently Humour And Laughter

Author:Vaclav Havel

“We often laughed at others in our house, and I picked up the craft of being polite while people were present and laughing later if there was anything to laugh about.”

People Ifs Humor Funny House Laughing Crafts Laughed Polite Being Polite

Book:Curriculum Vitae: A Volume of Autobiography

Source: Curriculum Vitae: A Volume of Autobiography

“In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.”

Men Home Humor Funny Lasts Fighting Laughing Months Jokes Tough Died Competition Outsiders Milwaukee

Book:The Benchley Roundup

Source: The Benchley Roundup

“I like to smoke a pipe, because it's the punch line indicator. Whenever I take a hit of the pipe, you should be laughing.”

Should Humor Funny Lines Laughing Smoke Pipe Indicators

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“There's a guy in the audience with a distinctive laugh. I hope that guy is miked. The only problem with having a distinctive laugh is I know exactly when that guy isn't laughing. "Oh, distinctive laugh doesn't think that joke was funny!"”

Thinking Knows Problem Humor Funny Guy Audience Laughing Jokes That Guy Distinctive

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“If I was a locksmith, I'd be pimping that out man. I'll trade you a free key duplication for. That joke made me laugh before I could finish it, which is good, because it had no ending.”

Ifs Men Made Humor Funny Laughing Keys Jokes Trade Duplication Pimping

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“Always keep a smile. I attribute my long life to that. I believe I will die laughing. That's part of my program.”

Believe Long Humor Funny Dies I Believe Laughing Program Attributes Long Life

Author:Jeanne Calment

“Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories; kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100; diapering your monkey, 35 calories; laughing at a midget, fun and 10 calories; catching your girlfriend with another guy, 2000-3000 calories, depending on backswings.”

Humor Funny Guy Fun Morning Laughing Bed Girlfriend Monkeys Catching Other Guys Kicking Calories Your Girlfriend Midget

Author:Dave Attell

“I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted.”

Helping Use Humor Funny Hurt Secret Laughing Santa Santa Claus Swallowing

Author:David Cross

“My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.”

People Knows Men Humor Funny Reading Laughing Dad My Dad Telephones Make You Laugh

Author:Frankie Boyle