“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”
Source: The Posthumous and Other Writings of Benjamin Franklin ...
Funny Quotes
Browse 13923 quotes about Funny.
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Funny Quotes
“I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.”
“An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.”
Source: The Liar
“Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.”
Source: At Home And Abroad Or, Things And Thoughts In America and Europe
“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.”
“My husband taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.”
“Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.”
“I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money.”
“If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.”
Source: Anarchism and Other Essays
“I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.”
“I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.”
“If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.”
“I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years.”
“Don't worry about the war. It's all over but the shooting.”
“Give me a couple of years, and I'll make that actress an overnight success.”
“That's the trouble with directors. Always biting the hand that lays the golden egg.”
“Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.”
“If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' what is the opposite of 'progress'?”
“I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.”
“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
Source: The Good Life According to Hemingway