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Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes

“Looking back on the event, I find myself thinking there are three approaches to journalism represented here. One is the "cool" approach of traditional journalism, including network broadcasting in which NPR is no exception. One is the "hot" approach of talk radio, which has since expanded to TV sports networks and now Fox TV. The third is the engaged approach of weblogging.”

ThinkingFunnyThreeSportsEventsTvsApproachThirdsHotIncludingRadioTraditionalJournalismEngagedThoughtfulExceptionLooking BackFoxesBloggingBroadcastingTalk RadioNpr
Author:David "Doc" Searls
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“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.”

ThinkingCareAgeFunnyWorryGrowingHavensDiscoveryAgingDon't CareOld AgeUpliftingRetirementOld PeopleGetting OlderGrowing OldNot CaringFunny AgingFunny RetirementBirthdays And AgingSenior CitizenFunny AgeAge Of 40Inspirational AgeRetirement AgeRetirement HumorWise AgeAge Of 20Turning 40
Author:Ann Landers
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“I got jury duty and I didn't want to go, so my friend said, "You should write something really really racist on the form when you return it. Like, you should put 'I hate chinks'." And I said, "I'm not going to put that on there just to get out of jury duty. I don't want people to think that about me." So instead I wrote, "I love chinks." And who doesn't?”

PeopleThinkingWantShouldWritingSaidHumorFunnyFormHateDutyLike YouReturnMy FriendsI HateRacistJuryChinksJury Duty
Author:Sarah Silverman
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“They are born, put in a box; they go home to live in a box; they study by ticking boxes; they go to what is called "work" in a box, where they sit in their cubicle box; they drive to the grocery store in a box to buy food in a box; they talk about thinking "outside the box"; and when they die they are put in a box.”

PeopleThinkingLifeHumansHomeFunnyDiesBornStudyHumorousBoxesStoresLive LifeScholarGroceriesGrocery StoresEssayistsOutside The BoxThink Outside The BoxCubicles
Book:The Bed of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms
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“If your idea of a role model is somebody who's gonna preach to your kids that sex before marriage is wrong and cursing is wrong and women should be this and be that, then I'm not a role model. But if you want your girls to feel strong and intelligent and be outspoken and fight for what they think is right, then I want to be that type of role model, yeah.”

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Author:Megan Fox
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“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”

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Author:Isaac Asimov
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“I don't quite recollect how many tumblers of whiskey toddy each man drank after supper; but this I know, that about one o'clock in the morning, the baillie's grown-up son became insensible while attempting the first verse of 'Willie brewed a peck o' maut'; and he having been, for half an hour before, the only other man visible above the mahogany, it occurred to my uncle that it was almost time to think about going.”

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Book:The Pickwick Papers: The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club
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“Roosevelt could always keep ahead with his work, but I cannot do it, and I know it is a grievous fault, but it is too late to remedy it. The country must take me as it found me. Wasn't it your mother who had a servant girl who said it was no use for her to try to hurry, that she was a "Sunday chil" and no "Sunday chil" could hurry? I don't think I am a Sunday child, but I ought to have been; then I would have had an excuse for always being late.”

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Author:William Howard Taft
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“When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'”

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Book:Strictly personal
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“Has anyone seen me on Letterman? Two million people watch that show and I don't know where they are. You might have seen this next comedian on the Late Show, but I think more people have seen me at the store. That should be my introduction. "You might have seen this next comedian at the store," and people would say "Hell yes I have!"”

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Author:Mitch Hedberg
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