Funny Quotes
Browse 13923 quotes about Funny.
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Funny Quotes
“When I lost my decathlon world record I took it like a man. I only cried for ten hours.”
“God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer, an honest man.”
“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.”
“When a young man begins to go down hill everything seems to be greased for the occasion.”
“Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.”
“Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.”
“If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.”
“Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?”
“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.”
“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.”
“Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.”
“The men liked to put me down as the best woman painter. I think I'm one of the best painters.”
“If a man writes a book, let him set down only what he knows. I have guesses enough of my own.”
“My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.”
“If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.”
“Any man who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.”
“Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.”
“Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.”
“A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt”