Humorous Quotes
Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.
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Humorous Quotes
“Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.”
“Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?”
“We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.”
“Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.”
“Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?”
“I'm single because I was born that way.”
“If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.”
“I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.”
“I only read biographies, metaphysics and psychology. I can dream up my own fiction.”
“Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
“Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself.”
“Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.”
“I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.”
“The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.”
“It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect.”
“What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.”
“No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most.”
“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
“Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.”
“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
“In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.”