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Abuse Survivors Quotes

Browse 242 quotes about Abuse Survivors.

Abuse Survivors Quotes

“I no longer look to my abusers with any expectation– of remorse, or apology or restitution or restoration or relationship. I’m at peace, accepting that they won’t and can’t help me out of the mess they created. But, I’m the best qualified for that job anyway and I’m happy with the job I’m doing.”

AcceptanceForgivenessRecoveryChild AbuseApologyRemorseChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsForgiveness QuotesSurvivorsHealing The PastHealing JourneyHealing InsightsHealing From AbuseAbusive ParentsForgiveness And Letting GoRestitutionAt PeaceLetting Go Of AngerNo ContactBroken Relationships
Book:The Rescued Soul: The Writing Journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal
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“Them: Angel, It was never about you. It was always about them. Their fears, their insecurities, Doubts and misdeeds, Their desire to be right Their lack of feeling to move toward some light. So don't pound your heart any further. Don't wrestle with the past. It was never about you.”

Inspirational QuotesRelationshipsLetting GoHeart QuotesMental Health QuotesHealing QuotesPain QuotesAbuse SurvivorsInner Strength QuotesEmotional Hurt
Book:The Stars In Our Scars: A Collection of Unique, Healing and Inspirational Poetry
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“When we are ready to let go of our old controls, we admit that we were powerless over the incest or abuse...We have often thought, 'If only I could have stopped it,' but we could not have stopped it. We let go of the 'if only' now and sit still with our stark powerlessness…In our surrender to powerlessness, we touch ourselves with the gift of truth.”

TruthHealingLetting GoAbuseSurvivorChild AbusePowerlessChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsPowerlessnessIncestSurvivors Of AbuseAbuse RecoveryChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorIf OnlySurvivor Of Abuse
Book:Beyond Survival: A Writing Journey for Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse
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“Because we were treated neglectfully and abusively in our young years—when we most needed self-love to be mirrored—it was difficult to hold onto…We take up the challenge of learning to love ourselves, through our highs & our lows, when we are finding acceptance from others and when we are being closed out and rejected.”

HealingSelf LoveNeglectSelf AcceptanceLove YourselfChild AbuseEmotional AbuseAbuse SurvivorsSelf Love QuotesHealing InsightsHealing From AbuseRecovery From AbuseChild Abuse SurvivorsEmotional NeglectChild Neglect
Book:Beyond Survival: A Writing Journey for Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse
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“Denial protected us, screening out certain experiences & feelings until we grew strong enough to relate to them...Yet it also dropped a curtain over our experience, obscuring it, leaving us with a sense of missing pieces. For instance, when we achieved something, we felt like an imposter. Or, though we had a relationship with a significant other, we often felt alone and unrelated to anyone.”

ConfusionDenialDetachmentAlonenessAbuse SurvivorsHealing InsightsRelationship ProblemsRecovery From AbuseIntimacy QuotesEmotional Detachment
Book:Beyond Survival: A Writing Journey for Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse
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“As I discussed in the previous chapter, attachment researchers have shown that our earliest caregivers don't only feed us, dress us, and comfort us when we are upset; they shape the way our rapidly growing brain perceives reality. Our interactions with our caregivers convey what is safe and what is dangerous: whom we can count on and who will let us down; what we need to do to get our needs met. This information is embodied in the warp and woof of our brain circuitry and forms the template of how we think of ourselves and the world around us. These inner maps are remarkably stable across time. This doesn‘t mean, however, that our maps can‘t be modified by experience. A deep love relationship, particularly during adolescence, when the brain once again goes through a period of exponential change, truly can transform us. So can the birth of a child, as our babies often teach us how to love. Adults who were abused or neglected as children can still learn the beauty of intimacy and mutual trust or have a deep spiritual experience that opens them to a larger universe. In contrast, previously uncontaminated childhood maps can become so distorted by an adult rape or assault that all roads are rerouted into terror or despair. These responses are not reasonable and therefore cannot be changed simply by reframing irrational beliefs.”

TraumaParentsChild AbuseRapeMind And BodyAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsWorld ViewHealing InsightsSurvivors Of AbuseComplex PtsdMind Body ConnectionAbusive ParentsEffects Of Child AbuseRape SurvivorsCare Givers
Book:The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
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“All people cross the line from childhood to adulthood with a secondhand opinion of who they are. Without any questioning, we take as truth whatever our parents and other influentials have said about us during our childhood, whether these messages are communicated verbally, physically, or silently.”

HealingInfluenceAbuseParentingParentsManipulationChild AbuseEmotional AbuseAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsDysfunctional FamiliesBelief SystemCore BeliefsChild Abuse Survivors
Book:Am I Bad? Recovering from Abuse
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“In situations of captivity the perpetrator becomes the most powerful person in the life of the victim, and the psychology of the victim is shaped by the actions and beliefs of the perpetrator.”

HealingAbuseVictimTraumaPrisonerPowerlessPtsdDomestic ViolenceAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsPowerlessnessCaptivityHealing InsightsBelief SystemComplex PtsdHealing From AbuseRecovery From AbuseAbuserCore BeliefsStockholm SyndromeTraumatic StressIntimate Partner ViolencePerpetratorBelie
Book:Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
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“She's terrified that all these sensations and images are coming out of her — but I think she's even more terrified to find out why." Carla's description was typical of survivors of chronic childhood abuse. Almost always, they deny or minimize the abusive memories. They have to: it's too painful to believe that their parents would do such a thing.”

HealingAbuseDenialChild AbuseSubconsciousPtsdAvoidanceAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsSubconscious MindIncestHealing InsightsTraumatic ExperiencesChildhood AbuseTraumatizedChild RapePost Traumatic Stress DisorderDissociative AmnesiaHealing From AbuseMinimizingFlashbackAbusive ParentsHealing AbusePosttraumatic Stress DisorderDefense MechanismFlashbacksParental AbuseMinimizationDenial Of AbuseTrauma MemoriesDenial Of Child AbuseTraumatic MemoriesIntrusiveSadistic AbuseDenial Of IncestReliving The PastPsychological DefenceAbusive ChildhoodMinimizing IssuesDissociated AmnesiaFear Of Truth
Author:David L. Calof
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“The damage and invisible scars of emotional abuse are very difficult to heal, because memories are imprinted on our minds and hearts and it takes time to be restored. Imprints of past traumas do not mean a person cannot change their future beliefs and behaviors. as people, we do not easily forget. However, as we heal, grieve, and let go, we become clear-minded and focused to live restore and emotionally healthy.”

HealingRecoveryEmotional AbuseEmotional PainAbuse SurvivorsHealing The PastHealing JourneyEmotional HealthTraumatic ExperiencesHope For The FutureHealing The Emotional SelfTrauma SurvivorsHealing ProcessEmotional WoundsTrauma MemoriesScars Of The PastHearts And MindsRestoring HappinessInvisible Wounds
Book:Breaking Passive-Aggressive Cycles
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“Our need to be "greater than" or "less than" has been a defense against toxic shame. A shameful act was committed upon us. The perpetrator walked away, leaving us with the shame. We absorbed the notion that we are somehow defective. To cover for this we constructed a false self, a masked self. And it is this self that is the overachiever or the dunce, the tramp or the puritan, the powermonger or the pathetic loser.”

HealingShameAshamedSurvivorLoserTrue SelfChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsPuritanIncestDefectiveHealing InsightsFeeling BadChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorRecovery From AbuseOverachieverCoverupToxic ShameFalse SelfPower TripHidden PainDunceDefective HumansHidden FeelingsHidden Self
Book:Beyond Survival: A Writing Journey for Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse
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“Sometimes we self-sabotage just when things seem to be going smoothly. Perhaps this is a way to express our fear about whether it is okay for us to have a better life. We are bound to feel anxious as we leave behind old notions of our unworthiness. The challenge is not to be fearless, but to develop strategies of acknowledging our fears and finding out how we can allay them.”

HealingAnxietyRecoveryUnworthyAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsHealing InsightsSelf SabotageWorthlessnessAbuse Recovery
Book:Beyond Survival: A Writing Journey for Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse
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“Trauma survivors who can remove themselves from a toxic environment may have a higher chance of making progress towards recovery. On the other hand, those who stuck in such an environment may find it more difficult to improve their mental health conditions.”

HealingPtsdAbuse SurvivorsToxic RelationshipsSurvivorsToxic PeopleTrauma Survivors
Book:Be A Teammate With Yourself: Understanding Trauma and Dissociation
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“The reason for entering the struggle is a desire for more; a taste of what life and love could be if freed from the dark memories and deep shame. No one leaves the lethargy of denial unless there is a spark of discontent that pierces the darkness of daily numbness. To live significantly less than what one was made to be is as severe a betrayal of the soul as the original abuse.”

HealingAbuseTraumaTherapyChild AbuseChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsHealing JourneyNumbnessChild Trauma
Book:The Wounded Heart
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“Abusive relationships exist because they provide enough rations of warmth, laughter, and affection to clutch onto like a security blanket in the heap of degradation. The good times are the initial euphoria that keeps addicts draining their wallets for toxic substances to inject into their veins. Scraps of love are food for an abusive relationship.”

FeminismAbuse SurvivorsAbusive RelationshipsDaddy IssuesAbusive ParentsMaggie Young QuotesMaggie YoungFeminist Writers
Author:Maggie Young
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“Invalidating someone else is not merely disagreeing with something that the other person said. It is a process in which individuals communicate to another that the opinions and emotions of the target are invalid, irrational, selfish, uncaring, stupid, most likely insane, and wrong, wrong, wrong. Invalidators let it be known directly or indirectly that their targets views and feelings do not count for anything to anybody at any time or in any way.”

PsychologyStupidSelfishInsaneDumbIrrationalEmotional AbuseAbuse SurvivorsPsychological AbuseAbusive RelationshipsAbusive ParentsAbusive PeopleCrazy MakingInvalidateIrrational ThinkingFeeling StupidInvalidating
Author:David M. Allen
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“The internal system of an abuse victim differs from the non-abuse system with regard to the consistent absence of the effective leadership, the extreme rules under which the parts function, and the absenve of any consistent balance or harmony. Typically, the parts operate around outdated assumptions and beliefs derived from the childhood abuse, believing, for example, that it is still extremely dangerous to reveal secrets about childhood experiences which were endured.”

PsychologyAbuseTraumaAbuse SurvivorsTrauma RecoveryPsychological Trauma
Book:The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
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“Many of us learned that keeping busy…kept us at a distance from our feelings...Some of us took the ways we busied ourselves—becoming overachievers & workaholics—as self esteem…But whenever our inner feeling did not match our outer surface, we were doing ourselves a disservice…If stopping to rest meant being barraged with this discrepancy, no wonder we were reluctant to cease our obsessive activity.”

RecoveryAvoidanceOvercomer QuotesAbuse SurvivorsHealing InsightsWorkaholicOverworkCoping MechanismsCoping MechanismRecovery From AbuseAvoiding PainObsessionsOverachievementWorkaholismCoping SkillsKeeping BusyOverachievers
Book:Beyond Survival: A Writing Journey for Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse
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“There is a moment in our healing journey when our denial crumbles; we realize our experience and it's continued effects on us won't "just go away". That's our breakthrough moment. It's the sun coming out to warm the seeds of hope so they can grow our personal garden of empowerment.”

HopeGrowthHealingDenialAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsHealing JourneyHealing InsightsChildhood AbuseSurvivors Of AbuseAbuse RecoveryJeanne McelvaneyHealing AbuseChildhood Sexual AbuseEffects Of Child AbuseDenial Of Child AbuseHarrietta S HappenstanceSpirit Unbroken Abby S StoryPost Traumatic Growth
Book:Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children
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“The abuser’s mood changes are especially perplexing. He can be a different person from day to day, or even from hour to hour. At times he is aggressive and intimidating, his tone harsh, insults spewing from his mouth, ridicule dripping from him like oil from a drum. When he’s in this mode, nothing she says seems to have any impact on him, except to make him even angrier. Her side of the argument counts for nothing in his eyes, and everything is her fault. He twists her words around so that she always ends up on the defensive. As so many partners of my clients have said to me, “I just can’t seem to do anything right.” At other moments, he sounds wounded and lost, hungering for love and for someone to take care of him. When this side of him emerges, he appears open and ready to heal. He seems to let down his guard, his hard exterior softens, and he may take on the quality of a hurt child, difficult and frustrating but lovable. Looking at him in this deflated state, his partner has trouble imagining that the abuser inside of him will ever be back. The beast that takes him over at other times looks completely unrelated to the tender person she now sees. Sooner or later, though, the shadow comes back over him, as if it had a life of its own. Weeks of peace may go by, but eventually she finds herself under assault once again. Then her head spins with the arduous effort of untangling the many threads of his character, until she begins to wonder whether she is the one whose head isn’t quite right.”

PsychologyAbuseDomestic ViolenceEmotional AbuseAbuse SurvivorsDomestic AbuseAbusersMental AbusePhysical AbusePsychological AbuseAbusive RelationshipsAbusive RelationshipAbused WomenAbusive MenAbuserAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“Dissociative Disorders have a high rate of responsiveness to therapy and that with proper treatment, their prognosis is quite good.”

Mental IllnessTherapyDissociative Identity DisorderDissociationAbuse SurvivorsPsychotherapyMental DisorderTraumatizedDissociative DisorderDissociative AmnesiaDissociative DisordersMpdDepersonalizationDdnosPrognosisDerealizationDepersonalization DisorderDissociative Fugue
Book:Interviewer's Guide to the Structured Clinical Interview for Dsm-IV Dissociative Disorders
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“Carla's description was typical of survivors of chronic childhood abuse. Almost always, they deny or minimize the abusive memories. They have to: it's too painful to believe that their parents would do such a thing. So they fragment the memories into hundreds of shards, leaving only acceptable traces in their conscious minds. Rationalizations like "my childhood was rough," "he only did it to me once or twice," and "it wasn't so bad" are common, masking the fact that the abuse was devastating and chronic. But while the knowledge, body sensations, and feelings are shattered, they are not forgotten. They intrude in unexpected ways: through panic attacks and insomnia, through dreams and artwork, through seemingly inexplicable compulsions, and through the shadowy dread of the abusive parent. They live just outside of consciousness like noisy neighbors who bang on the pipes and occasionally show up at the door.”

HealingAbuseMental HealthAddictionMental IllnessDenialSurvivorChild AbuseDreadSubconsciousPtsdAlcoholismInsomniaAvoidanceDissociationAbuse SurvivorsNightmaresSurvivorsIncestHealing InsightsFragmentedTraumatic ExperiencesChildhood AbuseConscious AwarenessRationalizationMental DisorderTraumatizedPanic AttacksDissociative DisorderAlcohol AddictionSelf ProtectionChild RapeDissociative AmnesiaHealing From AbuseMinimizingFlashbackAbusive ParentsHealing AbuseTrauma MemoryDefense MechanismFlashbacksParental AbuseEffects Of Child AbuseMinimizationDenial Of AbuseTrauma MemoriesDenial Of Child AbuseTraumatic MemoriesAbusive ParentIntrusiveSadistic AbuseDenial Of IncestIncestuousPsychological DefenceBad ChildhoodIrrational FearsAbusive ChildhoodIntrusionsMinimizing IssuesDissociated AmnesiaCompulsionsCompulsive EatingFear Of TruthBody MemoriesCompulsive BehaviorCompulsive OvereatingSeemingly Inexplicable BehaviorSex Addition
Book:The Couple Who Became Each Other: Stories of Healing and Transformation from a Leading Hypnotherapist
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“The experience of chronic abuse carries within it the gross mislabeling of things. Perpetrators are really "nice daddies." Victims are "evil and seductive" (at the age of three!). Nonprotecting parents are "tired and busy." The survivor makes a giant leap forward when [he or ]she can call abuse by its right name and grasp the concept that what was done was a manifestation of the heart of the perpetrator, not the heart of the victim.”

AbuseTherapyAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsPerpetratorsSurvivors Of AbuseChild Abuse SurvivorsMinimizationDenial Of AbuseAbusive FamilyMislabellingNonprotectingRrecovery From AbuseTherapy For Rape Victims
Book:Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse
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“In the course of therapy, we often witness clients’ capacities to report abuse stories with intellectualized, detached demeanors. And they are quick to add disclaimers that minimize their experiences such as “It wasn’t so bad,” “I probably deserved it anyway,” “I know my parents did the best they could,” “It didn’t have any negative effect on me,” or “That was a long time ago, and it can’t be relevant to my life now.” Many clients expend tremendous amounts of energy disavowing traumatic or abusive histories, believing that revisiting old feelings and thoughts will keep them stuck or are irrelevant to who they are today.”

DetachedAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsTraumatic ExperiencesTraumatizedSurvivors Of AbuseMinimization
Book:Treating Self-Destructive Behaviors in Trauma Survivors: A Clinician's Guide
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“Shame evokes anxiety about what will happen if someone really knows is, but, because it is impossible to for anxiety and anger to be felt simultaneously, we can dream our anxiety by employing anger or rage in the form of contempt... Contempt, because it feels more powerful has always helped us feel safer and more powerful than the anxiety we feel when we experience shame. [3]”

ShameAshamedContemptAvoidanceAbuse SurvivorsHealing InsightsPsychological DefenceSelf Contempt
Book:Growing a Passionate Heart
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“The reason why you need emotional support is because it's important for survivors to be heard. To be understood. To be able to express yourself without fearing criticism or harsh judgement. To be validated for your pain, suffering, and loss. For others to be there for you to encourage you, especially if you're having a bad day or feeling triggered.”

EncouragementSolidarityPtsdAbuse SurvivorsComplex PtsdEmotional SupportHealing TraumaSexual AssaultsMe Too Movement
Book:Soul Cry: Releasing & Healing the Wounds of Trauma
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“While in principle groups for survivors are a good idea, in practice it soon becomes apparent that to organize a successful group is no simple matter. Groups that start out with hope and promise can dissolve acrimoniously, causing pain and disappointment to all involved. The destructive potential of groups is equal to their therapeutic promise. The role of the group leader carries with it a risk of the irresponsible exercise of authority. Conflicts that erupt among group members can all too easily re-create the dynamics of the traumatic event, with group members assuming the roles of perpetrator, accomplice, bystander, victim, and rescuer. Such conflicts can be hurtful to individual participants and can lead to the group’s demise. In order to be successful, a group must have a clear and focused understanding of its therapeutic task and a structure that protects all participants adequately against the dangers of traumatic reenactment. Though groups may vary widely in composition and structure, these basic conditions must be fulfilled without exception. Commonality with other people carries with it all the meanings of the word common. It means belonging to a society, having a public role, being part of that which is universal. It means having a feeling of familiarity, of being known, of communion. It means taking part in the customary, the commonplace, the ordinary, and the everyday. It also carries with it a feeling of smallness, or insignificance, a sense that one’s own troubles are ‘as a drop of rain in the sea.’ The survivor who has achieved commonality with others can rest from her labors. Her recovery is accomplished; all that remains before her is her life.”

HealingGroupsConflictAuthorityVictimTraumaRecoveryTherapyConnectionBelongingFamiliarityAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsHealing The PastConflict ResolutionHealing InsightsCommonalityTraumatizedGroupSupporting OthersHealing From AbuseHealing TraumaRecovery From AbuseGroup DynamicsGroup TherapyTrauma TherapyAuthority And AttitudeBystanderPerpetratorGroup MentalitySupport GroupSupportivenessDrama TriangleRescuerAccompliceRe Enact TraumaGroup ConflictKarpman
Book:Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
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“Most survivors tend to be the care-giver rather than the care-receiver. We tend to be good at being spouses and parents, anticipating our loved ones needs, going the second mile when it came to self sacrifice. But seldom can we ask our loved ones to give to us. We fool ourselves into believing we don’t need much.”

Self SacrificeAbuse SurvivorsExtra MileChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorsAccepting HelpSelf Sacrifice QuotesCare GiverCare TakingOver Responsibility
Book:The Right to Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Therapeutic 7-Step Self-Help Program for Men and Women, Including How to Choose a Therapist and Find a Support Group
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“The term dissociation is ordinarily used to describe the phenomenon of compartmentalization or fragmentation of mental contents. It does not ascribe any particular mechanism by which the dissociative process occurs. Does dissociation occur as a result of automatic, nonconscious processes, or are there other specific mechanisms by which it occurs? Especially in the context of describing amnesia, the term repression is widely used in connection with several different mechanisms. As it is commonly used, it often implies how individuals may block our memories of uncomfortable or conflictual experiences. If done consciously, the mechanism is more accurately called suppression, which results from actively trying not to think about negative experiences.”

PsychologyChild AbuseRapeRepressionDiagnosisDissociationChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsPsychotherapySuppressionIncestDefinitionUnconscious MindTraumatizedFragmentationRepressed MemoriesDissociative AmnesiaDissociative DisordersChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorRecovered MemoriesChild Abuse DeniersTrauma MemoriesCompartmentalizationClergy AbuseRape SurvivorsDefence Mechanisms
Book:Rebuilding Shattered Lives: Treating Complex PTSD and Dissociative Disorders
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“Healthy people understand that others have the capacity to choose to end relationships and it serves as motivation for them to learn to relate in healthy and loving ways. However, when we are driven by shame, we don't just fear losing a relationship, but we live in terror that if we let anyone really get to know us, we would never be desired, pursued, or loved. In us, that fear can be worked out in the development of unhealthy denial, workaholism, perfectionism, chameleon-type behavior, and sadly, even revictimization... When we live in denial or present a false self out of fear... we will do anything to be accepted by people... When we begin to tell the truth about what happened to us we also begin the process of turning about from this type of idolatry... When we begin to tear away our layers of illegitimate shame... When our own vision is not distorted by our shame we can discern what was our responsibility and what wasn't.”

ShameVulnerableAbuse SurvivorsHealing InsightsWorkaholicChameleonSelf HateWearing A MaskUnhealthy RelationshipsDysfunctional RelationshipsFalse SelfHiding From The PastUnhealthy HabitsFear Of IntimacyRevictimizationUnhealthy CopingFear Of Being KnownBeing ExposedChameleon Type BehaviorFast Of Being AloneFast Of RejectionFear Of Being Found OutFear Of Exposure
Book:Growing a Passionate Heart
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“I spent that night sat on his bed peeling the burnt skin off his back in huge white sheets. Most nights we would watch through the bedroom window as the drunks went past. One night a group was outside and had turned violent. Which wasn’t unusual but this night Alan shouted out of the window “that’s enough lads! Leave him!” They didn’t listen. He shouted again this time towards the house but with the window still open “Pat bring the shotgun!” They vanished. We didn’t even own a shotgun. We did own a blank firing six shooter pistol though. I don’t know why.”

ViolenceMurderMemoirKillersAbuse SurvivorsGunsThriller NovelsFighting To SurviveManslaughterKnife Fights
Book:Tracie's Story: Care Abuse Love Murder
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“If a woman, teen, or girl says No, Stop, I Changed My Mind, I Can’t do This, or I’m Just Not Ready… Believe Her! No, she doesn’t REALLY want it. No, she’s NOT playing hard to get. No, she’s NOT just a tease. No, she didn’t ASK for it. Sexual violence is NOT okay no matter how much you try to rationalize it. Don’t be a predator! Have some self-control and RESPECT her decision. Forcing yourself on a person is sexual assault, period!”

Sexual AbuseFemale EmpowermentAbuse SurvivorsStephanie LahartStephanie Lahart QuotesSexual AssaultSexual ViolenceAbusive RelationshipAbused WomenMe Too
Author:Stephanie Lahart
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